“LSU dining has been in decline since spring 2009,” according to political science senior Gregory Davis.
The former food court was comparable to the Garden of Eden, featuring pasta, Mexican and actual sandwich options. My mouth watered and my eyes grew at the thought of such a wonderful place.
And rumor has it, it used to be affordable.
Not only are we seeing horrific changes in the dining options, they are done without consideration of the factors that influence where we choose to eat.
Those factors of course being the cost, line wait time and ability to eat said food while walking to class without spilling it everywhere.
At approximately 12:30 p.m. Wednesday, I walked into the Student Union, battered and bruised from the trek through Free Speech Plaza.
Looking for comfort in the form of food and beverages, I headed toward the food court. I stood in a traffic jam for a few minutes before realizing that the huddled mass of students were a morph of the Bayou Bistreaux and Papa John’s lines that had to have been breaking a fire code.
Fast forward as I exchange a wave and half-hearted smiles with the lonely souls working at the French Quarter Cafe and stopped to chuckle at the resemblance between the Jamba Juice crowd of Nike short sorority sisters and a herd of cattle coming in for their noon feeding.
Finally, I got to the real options: Chick-N-Grill, Chick-fil-A, Panda Express and On The Geaux.
Unfortunately, I was also faced with a third of the LSU student body at each location.
Chick-fil-A, serving only chicken and waffle fries, left a classmate of mine feeling unsatisfied, even though he said it was the best option at the time.
Panning over to the Panda Express line, I was faced with a line so long it rivaled the Great Wall of China, plus it isn’t easy to manage chopsticks while walking.
Chick-N-Grill is not — and never was — an option as I now consider it to be a particular evil that replaced Salsaritas with a slashed menu and inflated prices.
Hurrying into my last available option for sustenance, I entered On-The-Geaux.
There was little hope that the salad line would move in the time I had left for class. Sushi once again boasted the problem of chopsticks and convenience.
So I reached for a mound of mayonnaise and soggy bread that was labeled tuna — don’t you dare try to call it a sandwich.
When I got to the cashier, I fished out a $5 bill and handed it to the woman, who looked at me and said, “it’s $6.75.”
Six dollars and seventy five cents for a tuna fish sandwich.
I had no time to ponder the profit that LSU receives from its wretchedly overpriced, subpar sandwiches and how it must fund glorious meals for its administration — I had to be in class in 10 minutes.
I handed her my debit card and cringed when she swiped it.
Defeated, I headed to class.
Sinking into my seat, I exchanged a few words with a classmate of mine.
“The Student Union? All they have is shit with long lines and no where to sit,” she said.
My stomach rumbled as I nodded, and I pushed away the thought of the room temperature, half-eaten tuna sandwich I had just thrown into a garbage can — I couldn’t stomach the thought of eating the whole thing.
As my professor began to lecture on policy debates, I wondered if my poor, nutrient-deprived body could possibly make a strong enough argument to persuade LSU Dining to favor the students’ opinions over the holy, holy dollar bill.
Jana King is a 19-year-old women’s and gender studies sophomore from Ponchatoula.