It started out like any other job experience — with a Craigslist ad.
That led to a phone call, followed by an interview, paperwork and then my first day. I was a new hire at Cindie’s Lingerie and Adult Novelty store.
At first, I was frightened. I was barely 18, inexperienced and often too young to be taken seriously. How would I hold my weight around women who were in their 20s and 30s? How could I convince our customers that my product recommendations hold any weight? Even worse, how would people I know react?
The most memorable response was a fear of the people I’d be interacting with,
“But, Jana, normal people buy their dildos online,” you might say.
Yes, those so-called normal people do often shy away from declaring, in any manner other than having children, that they have a sexual expression.
I see a wide variety of people come in and out of Cindie’s doors. Sometimes, it’s curious people who have come to eat at the Wing Stop next door. Others see our billboard or are referred by a friend.
My favorite times are when I’m able to give advice to people who are having problems or just don’t feel satisfied with their sex lives.
Let me tell you, it’s not always easy to get someone to open up to you about their sex life. The questions – once they get them out – are very similar.
So I’m going to clear up a few ideas floating around:
1. Sex toys are for single people or people who have inadequate sex lives, and the toys will make my partner feel replaced.
Sex toys are for anyone who is interested in them. For every single toy out there, there is a couple’s toy on the market.
People, especially women, who are in tune with their body’s sexual functions are more likely to have satisfying sexual lives with a partner.
Toys are great, orgasms from toys are great, but emotional connections and human interactions are also great. If your partner has a problem with the use of a sex toy, talk it out.
2. What is the deal with penis pumps? Do they work, are they worth it, how much bigger will they make me?
This question makes me cringe. The first time I answered it, I took the young man into our DVD room and had a chat about self-acceptance. There are a few studies floating around saying that using a pump twice a day for fifteen minutes will give you results after six months. In my opinion, you’d be better off getting a penis sleeve for added length or girth. That’s really just if your partner isn’t satisfied. In the end, you have to accept what you’ve been given.
3. I’m interested in anal/bondage/toys/role play and my partner might not be. How do I get them to open up to it?
A great way to get right to the goal of having a pleasurable sex life is through communication. There are games, books and even just going into a store where you can see what is out there can help. Sometimes you do have to make
sacrifices and that may mean not taking part in a specific act because your partner isn’t comfortable with it.
4. Do you sell anything that will make my partner want to have sex with me?
No. There are pills and supplements that can boost a sex drive, give you more energy, or copy the flushed arousal feeling. However, there’s nothing that can fake an honest connection with another person.
We’re on a college campus, and sex is everywhere. Even with all of our exposure to it, it can be difficult to ask for what we want – especially when all external forces are telling us that wanting sex is bad, and that talking about sex is bad.
If no one has ever told you, let me be the first: It’s OK to want to have sex and it’s OK to not want to have sex.
What isn’t OK is dismissing the subject entirely.
Jana King is a 19-year-old women’s and gender studies sophomore from Ponchatoula, La.

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Mariel Gates

Cindie's is a sex shop in Sherwood Forest that's well-stocked with colorful lingerie, sex toys, and other miscellaneous phallic objects.