Possibly the worst concert experience I’ve ever had, started out ordinary enough — teeny-boppers assaulting others while pushing through to the front of the crowd, trying to get their fifteen seconds of fame on the jumbotron, countless metal heads whining about the chosen pre-concert playlist and cougars staking out the barricades trying to catch a glimpse of their “rock gods.” Only this time, it was different.
I probably should have realized going to an Ozzy Osbourne show was a bad idea from the get-go, but I let my friend convince me this was one of those once-in-a-lifetime things that you’re supposed to do for the experience — this would be something I’d tell my grandkids about. Apparently that was the plan for most of the people in the audience, who I’m pretty sure already had grandkids.
Ozzy, pushing 60 at the time, was slurring his speech more than usual and could barely figure out the function of a guitar, but that was nothing compared to the over-aged crowd messing up the lyrics to Black Sabbath songs I was actually looking forward to hearing live.
This was the point when I realized how much I hate band reunions.
I guess, to be more specific, I hate reunion tours.
The word “reunion” itself even has a negative connotation — the mental picture of a bunch of 40-year-olds trying to recreate their “Sixteen Candles” high school fantasy springs to mind.
There comes a point in a band or musician’s career when they should stop and realize they shouldn’t tour anymore (does anyone else remember Gene Simmons’ mall tour?). It seems as though at least one of three things always happens:
- The band plays a set of about five songs and grows too tired to continue.
- Everyone in the crowd is there for “that” song, and once it’s done, everyone leaves.
- The set is so completely terrible (Ozzy, I’m looking at you) that you wonder why you even liked this band to begin with.
What began as an attempted journey through nostalgia swiftly transformed into a waste of time and money.
Only a handful of reunions have ever truly worked, and those usually involved an album release that massively peaked in sales (My Bloody Valentine) or a short timespan between the band’s hiatus and reunion (Neutral Milk Hotel).
After my Ozzy experience, when a reunion tour comes my way, I don’t usually chance it. I’m not saying I’ll never experience one again, but I’ll tread carefully.
Rebecca Docter is a 19-year-old mass communication sophomore from Jackson, Miss.
