Growing up, we learn to accept several things about the world. Our parents won’t understand us, our only clean pair of pants won’t fit us right and porn is exciting — really exciting — but bad.
A Google search on the negative effects of porn will lead you to an article by Dr. Phil, the famous not-quite-licensed psychologist on television. Or your mother could copy and paste the article into an email with the subject line “PORN DESTROYS!!!!!!!!!!” like mine did just last week. The article recites the basic arguments against porn: it exploits children, degrades women, causes unrealistic fantasies, invokes the desire for immoral sexual practices, can be addictive and destroys relationships.
But what’s the fun of an argument if your opposition can rattle off your main points in one breath?
The pornography industry is regulated. There are mandatory examinations and health checks before an adult actor is cast into a role. Most importantly, the pornography industry is made up of consenting, paid men and women. Anything outside of that should not be considered pornography, but sex crimes.
The most enraging argument is that pornography degrades women and makes them insecure.
I don’t know about you, but my security does not stem from my partner’s fantasies. If it did, I’d probably be insecure about not being a chili cheese dog from Sonic.
The motif of “daughters gone astray” is worn out and does little except belittle an adult female capable of making her own decisions.
In reality, this argument ties a woman’s worth as a human being to her sexual expression. That’s where the real oppression stems from.
Not to mention that this particular argument only reinforces a heteronormative mindset. If all porn is degrading to women, where do the gay adult films fit in?
In an argument over this subject with an older female in my life, I was once told “I hope you don’t get gang raped, which is a porn fantasy, by the way.” To this I had little response until now.
Calling it a “porn fantasy” is redundant. Pornography is fantasy, yes, but so is allowing your daughter to believe she is a princess.
I would never stop my nephew from watching “Thomas the Train” videos because I believed it desensitizes him to the reality of life working on a railroad.
So why would an adult not be able to separate fantasy from reality?
The great, fascinating, wonderful thing about being a human is expression, including sexual expression. Just as we all differ in our clothing styles, we differ in our sexual styles. I urge everyone to adopt an open mind when it comes to human sexuality. I’m not saying that everyone should have a go at BDSM practices. Just realize that those humans taking part in those acts are just like you, but with different styles of sexual expression. Don’t be so quick to write off kinks as immoral sexual practices because they don’t appeal to you.
The key to any relationship is communication. If there’s one thing that Dr. Phil got right in his article, it’s that it’s important to find out how your partner feels about pornography. Pornography can even be used to open up that communication line to find out what your partner is comfortable with sexually.
Just like any sexual act, pornography can be difficult to accept — and that’s okay. Lines of tolerance differ from person to person.
Unhealthy lifestyles are addictive. Pornography is addictive. If you cannot handle your partner looking at pornography, it’s understandable. But your problem lies with the partner, not the pornography industry.
After all, you wouldn’t blame the alcohol industry for a failed relationship with an alcoholic,
would you?
Jana King is an 18-year-old women’s and gender studies sophomore from Ponchatoula.
Opinion: Is pornography harmful to society?
By Jana King
August 27, 2013