In an effort to decrease the number of feral cats roaming campus and spreading diseases, the Society of Humane Students will open its new restaurant, “Cat Burglars”, later this spring.
Cat Burglars will experiment beyond the status quo in the restaurant industry, said William Whiskers, president of SHS. The restaurant serves a philanthropic purpose while also providing quality food to customers in the form of feral feline burgers.
“These kittens, cute though they may be, are dangerous. With Cat Burglars, students no longer have to worry about contracting disease from the little guys. Instead, they can enjoy one of our burgers with confidence that they are making the world a better place,” Whiskers said.
Though Cat Burglars is built on an innovative idea, the establishment will borrow traits from other names in the restaurant industry such as Red Lobster, said Catherine McWilliams, SHS vice president.
Upon entrance to Cat Burglars, customers will choose a cat from the box adjacent to the register, said McWilliams. This process not only ensures the burgers are cooked to order, but also determines the price of the burger.
Cat burgers are priced based on the disease carried by the selected feline, McWilliams said. Rabid cats, for example, will cost more than cats carrying fleas. This is because of a positive correlation between the quality of meat and severity of the disease, as discovered in a recent Vet School study.
The aging of bacteria and other infectious materials create distinction in flavor, said Professor Maximus Bojangles, feline expert for the Vet School. The process is similar to making fine cheese, Bojangles said.
McWilliams said cat burgers, like traditional ones, are best when dressed.
“You really can’t beat a fully dressed cat burger. Lettuce, tomato, mayo and mustard come standard. Hickory sauce and grilled onions, though, will cost 50 cents extra,” she said.
Cat Burglars will be located outside of Tiger Stadium’s north end zone, a fitting location because most feral cats are found roaming the stadium at night, Whiskers said.
The establishment will expand to other parts of campus, replacing The 5 and The 459 dining halls by spring 2015, Whiskers said.
Students anticipate the opening of Cat Burglars.
Frederick White, veterinary medicine senior, said he has never tried a cat burger.
“I’m looking forward to it. I’ll definitely pay extra for the grilled onions,” he said.