We all start playing the game of self-expression early in life. I didn’t have my stellar lipstick collection right out of the womb, after all.
A toddler could refuse to wear anything but his or her favorite Bob the Builder shirt. My mother could not wash a certain sailor-inspired jumper fast enough. The right sneakers and backpack are of paramount importance. Young girls fight with their moms about learning to apply mascara. The care with which a teenager, of any gender, cultivates a personal aesthetic, trend-based or not, is cringe-worthy.
One of the feats of modern adulthood is a fully fleshed-out wardrobe. Haircuts aren’t exactly forever, but they can’t be wiped off in a moment, either.
Lipstick is easy — once you know what you’re doing — and transformative.
Sloppy or meticulous, there’s reason behind the components of anyone’s personal style. I got into lipstick early in high school, mostly for formal functions. More than any other makeup, I now put lipstick on nearly every day. I collect tubes and have at least two with me everywhere I go.
There are a lot of reasons — a domino effect falling through my early years of unfortunate lip glosses and plaid dresses — that could have contributed to my love of lipstick.
Femininity isn’t really one of them. It easily could be, if I had to fight for the right to wear makeup, but it was always my choice and never pushed on me as a prerequisite for blossoming into womanhood.
That’s why, of the styles men hate on women, the reviling descriptions of lipstick as unnecessary and messy annoys me most.
“It’s so messy. It’s going to get all over me. Not my thing.” Cry me a river, buddy. As if I dress for anyone but myself.
I don’t need validation that I am styling myself as a woman should. I don’t wear lipstick because straight men do or do not approve of it, and I won’t stop for a tantrum over a hypothetical or real smudge on a bro’s cheek. Besides, I am as impressed with lip looks of Tim Curry — who is, as far as I know, a cis-gendered male — as Beyonce, so reducing it to an expression of womanhood doesn’t cover it.
And it’s not directly tied to my feminism, either. My belief that women should be treated as human beings, while tied up in the concept of freedom of expression, is not the driving force behind my use of lipstick.
I’ll tell you what is.
It’s practicality. I don’t need to stress about looking sloppy if a couple swipes of color make me feel put together. Lipstick makes me very aware of my face — in a good way. I don’t scrunch up my face or bite my lip as much when I have it on. With an expressive face like mine, you need impetus to keep still and appear professional.
It’s preciseness. If I overly rush my lip line, I might walk out of my house looking clownish. It forces me to take a minute to look myself in the mirror and concentrate on me.
It eases the stress of my harried, pushed-the-snooze-button-twice routine.
It’s fun, being able to insert any color in the middle of a pallid face. I laugh every time my little cousins wipe my lip print off their cheeks or I can tell which cup out of a crowd on the coffee table is mine.
It’s my mother in the ’90s. She’s not much for makeup these days, but when I was young, she was a master of the full lip. I have vivid memories of her face, sort of free-floating, smiling at me, always with this amazing plum shade on her lips.
It’s an expectation for myself to be better, to be more precise, to make decisions quickly, to be kind and positive — attributes my mother has always embodied. It’s not being a lady or sticking it to the patriarchy, although it does play those roles at times.
So, for me, lipstick is adulthood.
Your mode of self-expression may change over time. In the end, do and wear whatever makes you feel your best grown-up self, what makes you feel like you have the capacity to live up to your mentors.
And, if it’s the same as mine, trust me, no one will know or care that you’re wearing something called “Bistro Burgundy” or “We Have To Talk”. Judge not the tube by its title nor the adult by the accessory.
Samantha Bares is a 20-year-old English junior from Erath, La.
Opinion: Self-expression is about growth into adulthood
February 12, 2014
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