The recent Ray Rice scandal has sparked much debate. Unless you live under a rock, you probably know what I’m referring to: the video of Rice knocking out his then-fiancée, now-wife Janay Palmer. In it, we can see domestic violence at its worst. 
I have gathered a few things from this video. 1. Any man who puts his hands on a woman isn’t a real man. 2. As a woman, you shouldn’t pick up your hands to hit your significant other. Not only is it wrong, but he may just hit you back. 3. Nobody should hit anyone. Just keep your hands to yourself. 
Aside from Rice knocking out Palmer, what really shocked me was even after Rice hit her, she still stuck by his side and eventually married him. At first, I
was very judgmental. I thought she was dumb for staying with him and even dumber for saying she regretted the role she played in the ordeal on
national television. 
Then I came across a video of a Good Morning America segment with Robin Roberts, Dr. Phil McGraw and Beverly Gooden, the creator of the hashtag  #WhyIStayed. 
About a week ago, Gooden took to Twitter, explaining why she stayed in her abusive relationship for so long. Some of her tweets read, “I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me. He slept in front of the door that entire night. #WhyIStayed.” and, “I stayed because I was halfway across the country, isolated from my friends and family. And there was no one to help me. #WhyIStayed.”
The hashtag went viral and sparked a much-needed debate about domestic violence and separation assault, which is more common than we may think. 
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in four women and one in seven men aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. On average, it takes seven attempts for the victim to leave the abuser.
Most people who haven’t experienced any form of domestic violence would say if you’re in that situation, you should just leave. 
But that’s easier said than done. 
During the GMA segment, Dr. Phil added, “People are starting to understand what Beverly’s talking about here because the truth is that separation assault is a phenomenon that occurs when you attempt to leave the abuser, and even the two or three weeks after. There are more fatal injuries and serious injuries during that time than any other.”
While talking to the women in my life who have been physically and emotionally abused, they said they stayed because they were financially
dependent and isolated. Also, when you invest so many years into one person, it’s hard to pick up and leave because you love them so much.
“I loved him, I believed in him, I believed what he said when he said that he wouldn’t do it again, I trusted him, I was afraid of him,” Gooden said in the interview. 
Although I have seen firsthand how a man can change for the better, that doesn’t necessarily heal all the emotional wounds of domestic violence. But for the relationships that don’t get better, sometimes staying is the only option a woman may have.
Although the public will never know exactly what goes on privately in the Rice household, it is important for us to consider Palmer’s position instead of pointing a finger.
Ray Rice isn’t the only man in the world who has committed an act of domestic violence, and his wife is not the only woman who has chosen to stay. But from this incident, we can learn not to judge a person’s decisions because you never know exactly what they are going through.
Taylor Simien is a 20-year-old mass communication junior from Lafayette, Louisiana. You can reach her on Twitter @TSimien_TDR.