“Whatever we wear, wherever we go, yes means yes and no means no.”
Catchy slogans — like this one used for Slutwalk, a sexual assault awareness campaign — are spreading like wildfire. And while they are important tools for campaigns, they’re little more than an introduction to consent.
In a perfect world, the line of consent could be drawn at a simple yes or no. But in our world muddled with legal jargon and juries debating truths, defining consent is a bit harder than that.
There are situations in which all parties can give verbal consent and that consent not be enough to validate the sexual activity. And those situations are a lot easier to find yourself in than you’d think.
It’s easy to develop attraction to someone you see regularly. Whether that be in class or at work, college students frequently find themselves making friends — or more than friends — with their peers.
But in organizations with hierarchical power structures, whether it be in a college department or a workplace, there is potential for sexual manipulation to make things messy.
Earlier this month, Kay Heath, a former employee of the LSU Alumni Association, filed a lawsuit against the fundraising group and its CEO, Charlie Roberts. Heath claimed Roberts asked her to resign because of a sexual relationship between them, which was against the association’s policies. In exchange for her resignation, the lawsuit states that Roberts offered Heath lifetime monthly checks.
The media ran wild as Roberts denied Heath’s allegations. According to NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune, he later resigned from his position in response to Heath’s claims that she would drop the association as a defendant in her lawsuit if Roberts was “completely disassociated with the association by firing or resignation.”
Roberts’ actions may not seem important to University students, but these events have potential to spark a conversation about consent on campus.
As we grow older, the age gap between our superiors and ourselves thins, leaving a margin for otherwise healthy, consenting sexual activity to take place.
Individuals sleeping their way to the top is a popular motif in TV and movies. But we rarely hear about the honest worker who was manipulated into sexual activity with threats to their job.
I’m not saying Roberts ever purposefully or outright manipulated any of his employees into having sex with him. But when it comes to sex, it doesn’t have to be outright or intentional.
If a TA for a class approaches one of their students in a bar and offers them a drink or invites them to come home with them, that student could be made to feel that their academic standing is on the line.
Whether that student chooses to accept a drink or an invitation to go home with them or rejects the advances, the TA is guilty of sexual manipulation. Even if they did not mean to be manipulative, even if they would have respected the student’s refusal of the invitation, they still committed sexual assault.
And as morally sound as I’m sure every TA at the University is, we are all humans. Sometimes we don’t realize that something we’ve done has compromised another’s ability to consent.
This is why it is important to not only receive a verbal, enthusiastic, consenting “yes” when considering sexual interaction, but also to be mindful from where each partner is approaching the sexual interaction.
If you do not have enough respect for the person with whom you want to hook up to want them to have an emotionally, mentally and physically healthy sexual experience, you are not someone who should be having sex.
It might seem like too much to consider on the bus from Tigerland back to your dorm, but it is critical. Sexual manipulation doesn’t always come in the form of lawsuits or human resource department complaints. College campuses are a breeding ground for sexual misconduct, and this University is no exception.
Sex, power and manipulation are not only themes for a scandalous TV drama. They are the recipe for sexual assault.
Jana King is a 19-year-old communication studies junior from Ponchatoula, La. You can reach her on Twitter @jking_TDR.