Former President Donald Trump could be facing indictment in relation to the Justice Department’s inquiry about documents rumored to contain nuclear secrets that he removed from the White House. If the speculation is true, Americans should be greatly disappointed in the former head of state. A president taking nuclear information instead of the nukes themselves is unacceptable.
Trump has always wanted to be likable and appear cool, and there is nothing cooler than personally owning a nuclear weapon.
He should’ve found the biggest nuclear warhead he could, put a large blanket over it and left the White House using the Jan. 6 insurrection as a distraction. Upon arriving at his residence at Mar-a-Lago, he would take legal ownership because of the “Finders Keepers Losers Weepers” clause of the Constitution.
The resort would be a much better place with a nuke in the middle of it. Trump could use it to jokingly threaten people while pointing the nuke at them using a remote control. 
Imagine, for instance, someone called Trump a fat man. He could respond in jest, telling them,  “I’ve got a fat man for you,” in reference to the nuclear bomb detonated over Nagasaki. This would likely get a laugh from resort-goers and improve the overall mood.
Having a nuclear weapon is a goal for many developing nations because they’re a bulwark against encroaching world powers. Knowing this, Trump could have an “Apprentice”-style reality show, bringing on the leaders of developing countries to see who will win the prize of protection from imperial forces and control over their natural resources.
He could’ve used it as a campaign tool, promising to give the nuke back only if he’s elected. He could bring it to each of his rallies and let people take pictures with it as they used the remote control to point it at cardboard cutouts of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. 
Trump had a famous campaign promise to build a wall on the southern border to deter illegal immigration. While that’s a decent proposal, a giant nuclear weapon stationed in Arizona with the capability to hit any spot along the border would be better.
Trump once suggested nuking hurricanes to disrupt them. If he had a nuke, he could try this strategy in the Gulf of Mexico, alleviating the stress that hurricane season brings. Trump and other Republicans have been criticized for not taking climate change seriously, but a campaign promise to nuke the sun would quiet liberal opposition.
America is a country that prides itself on going big. America does not settle for space. America goes to the moon. Trump missed his opportunity to make America great again by only going halfway. Every citizen should be disappointed in Donald Trump for not rounding third and coming home; he can take that bush league stuff to Canada.
Frank Kidd is a 21-year-old mass communication junior from Springfield, VA.