In response to Kendrick Lamar’s agressive verse on Future and Metro Boomin’s “Like That,” a song released last month in which Lamar attacked J. Cole and Drake’s status as parts of the “Big Three” modern rappers, J. Cole released his response song “7 minute drill” early this month. Two days later, he apologized.
For starters, there’s nothing wrong with someone asserting themselves as the best at something, especially if they can back it up.
Lamar is arguably one of the best lyricists of our time. He mixes political commentary, storytelling and passion in one artistic pursuit, which makes him a force to be reckoned with. Though he isn’t the only rapper to do this, he definitely has a style that can’t be replicated.
But regarding the diss, J. Cole responded in a way that most people would if they felt disrespected; he fought fire with fire. As a genre and culture, rap is largely known for its high-intensity fueds, often executed through diss tracks. I didn’t think anything was wrong with his decision.
Many rappers have used their music to defend their names and destroy others. That’s just the way it’s been since sneak dissing first found its way into hip-hop in the mid-1980s. Usually, rappers are unapologetic with their disses, but J. Cole took a different route.
On April 7, during his concert in Raleigh, North Carolina, J. Cole issued an apology to Lamar for name dropping him in “7 minute drill.” He said that he felt “terrible” and that he’d delete the song so that it could no longer be streamed.
His apology came from the heart and seemed to be genuine. I didn’t think much of it, so I was a bit confused as to why he received so much hate from the public. I read several comments calling J. Cole a “b-tch” and a “p–sy” for doubling back on his diss.
I even saw some people insinuate that J. Cole was no longer a real man for apologizing, so it got me thinking about toxic masculinity and its negative impacts on men.
Toxic masculinity is a distillation of all the harmful emotional impositions placed on men. These harmful ideas about looking tough and never backing down all come from the male fantasy of ideal masculinity. In a way, these issues are self inflicted.
J. Cole’s actions were mature and, contrary to popular belief, actually made him look like the bigger person. It takes a lot to hold yourself accountable, and it takes even more to apologize for your wrongdoings in public.
Have no fear, this isn’t to praise a man for doing the bare minimum, but it’s rather to call out the dangers of the sentiments that were shared by viewers.
The idea that men can’t or shouldn’t be vulnerable is why suicide rates have skyrocketed within their demographic. Patriarchy is morbid in that way. It’s a system that hurts everyone regardless of gender.
The fact of the matter is that men still enable patriarchy because they benefit from it, even despite its negative impacts on them. They’re willing to put up with the pain because they can still have positions of power over women.
However, when men like J. Cole are able to be honest with their feelings and do so regardless of who’s watching, it’s an act of combatting the patriarchy, though a relatively small one, but that doesn’t matter. Men just need to allow themselves to be human.
Amyri Jones is a 22-year-old digital advertising and religious studies senior from Baton Rouge.
