Editor’s note: The following column is satire.
Several things are part of our shared experience as LSU students, and it truly wouldn’t be the same without them.
From the unimaginable quantity of campus parking spots to the smell of weed near Himes Hall, there are so many unique things to love about LSU.
First of all, the number of available parking spots on campus. There’s nothing like having to arrive on campus half an hour early just solely to find a parking spot and then make a half mile pilgrimage to class. College life wouldn’t be the same if there were as many parking spots as questionable shirtless guys running by the lakes.
If you’ve ever walked past the alley by Himes Hall that leads to the LSU library, you’ve probably inhaled the distinct aroma of weed. At first, you doubt if you smell what you think you smell on a Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. walking to class. But after a few days, that smell becomes a hallmark of your morning.
Another staple of our everyday experience at LSU is getting accosted at Free Speech Alley. “JOIN OUR CLUB!” That is just what I like to hear every time I try to get to the Union. “TAKE THIS FLIER,” and you better take it. “HEY, SIGN THIS PETITION.” Still, this is mild compared to those friendly evangelicals who occupy FSA every other week. Courage to those trying to brave through FSA during Greek week or Student Government’s campaign week.
And then there’s the line at the Union’s Chick-Fil-A. Something I look forward to every day is spending 20 minutes of my 40-minute break between classes standing in line for the original chicken sandwich. No use asking for chicken strips because they’re not on the menu.
Maybe the lines wouldn’t be as long if it weren’t for the nosy high schoolers roaming campus. You may have been startled by a parent asking for directions to the bookstore. “Are you a student here? Do you live on campus? What hall do you live in?”
And then there’s Herget Hall. That needs no explanation.
Now although Mike the Tiger is our official mascot, our unofficial mascot are campus squirrels. They should pay tuition at this rate. There is nothing these squirrels can’t get their hands on, especially food. Stolen homework? It was definitely the squirrels. Property damages? Likely the squirrels. Best frat parties? The squirrels as well. They’re taking over campus at an alarming rate.
When it’s pouring rain outside, and you must get to the other side of campus for class, you will happily wait for the Tiger Trails on-demand bus to pick you up. You aren’t even sure if they’re coming, and it’s been 44 minutes, but you will get to class dry and on time. Always.
There are so many other things to love about LSU. Scheduling exams at Johnston Hall, connecting to the wifi, Eduroam, getting LSU parking tickets and kayaking when campus floods are only a few of the things we love about our shared LSU experience. One day we will reflect on our college years and say, “Truly, I’ll miss picnicking in the quad.”
Isabella Albertini is a 23-year-old mass communication sophomore from Lima, Peru.
