The camera pans left and we see a backyard. The screen focuses on a young poolboy cleaning up leaves. Background noise slowly rises into one-side of a conversation. We hear an energetic voice talking about championships and being the best one-two punch in college football.
“All right. Can’t wait to work with you. Good luck today,” says the voice followed by a short chuckle. We finally see the mysterious talking voice. It’s Texas A&M football coach Kevin Sumlin.
Yes, that was overdramatic and the quote is completely fabricated, but like most movies these days, it’s based on a true story. I’m playing on the phone conversation former LSU defensive coordinator John Chavis had with Sumlin, the day of Chavis’ last game with the Tigers.
The story broke after Sumlin’s poolboy, Rustin McFarland, or better known on the interwebs as @mcfarlandrk8, tweeted “Just cleaned Sumlin’s pool. Saw him on the phone, hopefully with our new DC!” The Aggies’ head coach responded shortly thereafter with a quote tweet and a simple “You just lost your job!” on Dec. 30 at 1:49 p.m..
At this point in the story, I was more concerned with the weekly salary and benefits of the new job opening than I was with the Twitter firing. Little did I know, LSU was about to have a much more prominent job opening.
Dec. 30 is not only the day of the Twitter firing — it was also the Music City Bowl. LSU’s defense allowed nearly 450 yards in its 31-28 defeat of Notre Dame.
But the game wasn’t the only loss LSU suffered that day.
After the game, LSU coach Les Miles spoke of his defensive coordinator in the past tense and reports surfaced saying Chavis was leaving LSU for Texas A&M.
Big whoop. A coach leaves a school for more money following contract discussions he didn’t like. That happens almost every day.
But one week later, Sumlin revealed a new plot twist in this made-for-TV series.
On Jan. 7, he went on Mike and Mike, an ESPN radio show, and told the world he was on the phone with John Chavis while McFarland watched.
Wow. This is some telenovela-type drama. The girlfriend was cheating and was on the phone with the other guy just before she went on a date with the first guy. What a gut punch that must have been for Miles and the defensive staff. The man, or girlfriend in the metaphor, they trusted was talking out of both sides of his mouth and was already on his way out of the door.
Miles is too proud to come out and say it rattled him, but it had to. For a short period, he had to have questioned who he could trust.
But like any self-respecting man, Miles quickly rebounded and grabbed a new, less attractive defensive coordinator in Kevin Steele, but he paired it with the sexy hiring of defensive line coach Ed Orgeron. I already gave my thoughts on the hirings, but to summarize in three words, change is good.
It’s a strong rebound pickup for Miles, but I’m leaving out another burned girlfriend in this dramatic love quadrilateral: LSU Athletic Director Joe Alleva.
Alleva was the one who was negotiating the new contract with Chavis. His offer is what ultimately compelled Chavis to run into the arms of another school. If you’ve ever seen a telenovela, you know revenge must be had somewhere — normally on a Monday or Friday to keep you interested.
In this case, revenge came in the form of a lawsuit.
Alleva is trying to get a $400,000 buyout contractually owed to LSU for Chavis leaving the school while still under contract. But Chavis believes he ducked that clause because he gave LSU his notice in early January and didn’t start getting paid at Texas A&M until mid-February.
Now, Chavis is suing LSU and A&M, or only LSU, or I don’t know. I barely have a C in my media law class. I’m no judge. This stuff is just getting out of hand.
I feel like my Nana, who only watches her soap operas on Fridays so she can stay informed with the major details. I have a loose understanding of the drama and am just going to wait and see if something actually happens before the season starts.
If you’re out there scratching your head like me, do what I’m going to do. Give up on every detail of this catfight and await the real fight in Tiger Stadium on Nov. 28.
Brian Pellerin is a 21-year-old mass communication junior from Kenner, Louisiana. You can reach him on Twitter @Pellerin_TDR.