Editor’s Note: The views expressed in this column do not reflect the views of the entire staff of The Daily Reveille.
Student Government debates have traditionally gone like a bad first date. The participants are desperate to make a good impression, end up agreeing on everything to avoid awkward silences and leave you feeling like you wasted an hour listening to promises nobody will keep.
In stark contrast, this year’s debate was more like a high school prom. Metric tons of drama, that one guy who makes a complete fool of himself and the woman who is clearly too excited about it. Plus, there’s the sassy English teacher trying to prevent a fight, but who ends up throwing a punch anyway.
Every seat in the Holliday Forum was packed, which seems impressive until you realize they were packed with campaign volunteers and smaller candidates. The Daily Reveille’s SG reporter Chloe Huff and I stole chairs from Manship School of Mass Communication Dean Jerry Ceppos’ office lounge so we didn’t have to type notes standing up.
Among my notes were “When did SG gain the ability to pass amendments to the state constitution?”
You’ve got to hand it to them: Moe Ahsan and David Scotton were easily the most passionate candidates in the room last night. Unfortunately, they were also the most embarrassing.
The viewing public rarely sides against the moderator of a political debate, and especially not when he handles himself as well as Tiger TV reporter Mitch Rabalais. After Scotton cried about how he wanted to talk about “real issues” instead of the questions he agreed to answer, Rabalais snapped and told him they had talked about “real issues” all night.
Can the League of Sassy Broadcasting Majors give Rabalais an award or something? I wish that had happened at the end of the broadcast so he could do a proper mic drop and leave the crowd in a daze.
During Helen Frink’s responses, my notes read “Yeah, she’s way too excited about this.”
Despite being the most put-together and well-spoken ticket, “Make It Matter” didn’t sound like it had anything substantial to offer. The ticket also repeated its points as much as “More for LSU,” which is saying something.
Yes, we understand you interrogated students about what they wanted to make your platform. Yes, we understand you want to establish a million and one communication channels. We get it, your parking initiative is “cutting edge.”
They didn’t really make the debate matter much. I just wasn’t impressed with what they brought to the table. It’s the same sort of SG ticket, except this time they put the woman in charge.
At the beginning of the debate I wrote “Did Knight forget her responses at the sorority house?”
“Here and Now” had the worst public speaking skills the entire night. Vice presidential candidate Hannah Knight was speechless after a question about how the ticket would help minority students, and it looked like Andrew Mahtook was writing her answers for her.
If there’s any truth to the claim that this year’s tickets were different, it wasn’t apparent. “Here and Now” sounded like current SG president and vice president Clay Tufts and Taylor Lambert. If you don’t know the dynamic, the frat guy presidential candidate does all the talking while the lady VP tries not to get in his way.
However, they had the most substantive responses to every question after the first flub.
Mahtook had the best answer to any question last night when he said SG can never pay enough attention to the problem of sexual assault on campus.
Heck, even Joanie Lyons, who ran the “Here and Now” Twitter account, was on point. During the debate, she called me out on my snarky tweet about their legal advice initiative.
It’s kind of sad that an SG election with more diversity than nearly every past year will probably be won by the candidates who seem so much like what SG has always been.
I’d really like to have better options for my representative than “guy who thinks reflective stickers would go a long way” and “woman who wants more reminders about UREC construction progress.”
Maybe it’s the structural inability of SG to deal with issues other than picnic tables and parking. Maybe it’s the overwhelming catering to Greek system students. Maybe it’s Maybelline.
It’s a tough decision, but after considering the ins and out of the debate, I’m left with only one choice. “The Other Option,” the fake ticket from Tiger TV’s satirical show “The Funyon” didn’t say anything that made me shake my head in shame, so he’s got my vote. Plus, he took a selfie with me.
James Richards is a 20-year-old mass communication sophomore from New Orleans. You can follow him on Twitter @JayEllRichy.