5 Fox News Headlines You’ll see in 2015
– Gays release budget for their new world order
– Rap music scientifically proven to corrupt Disney stars
– Jesus confirmed to be a straight, white, venture capital CEO
– Rick Santorum admits to masturbating to the Bible
– 2nd Amendment lawsuit seeking right to keep nuclear weapons
5 MSNBC Headlines You’ll see in 2015
– Pro-life group kills 6 Democrats to save unborn fetus
– Minimum wage group pushes for mandatory 3 blunts an hour
– Push to regulate “dangerously cheesy” snacks
– Occupy Wall Street enters 4th year of loitering
– Local philosophy major can’t decide between bartending or waiting tables
James Richards is a 20-year-old mass communication sophomore from New Orleans. You can reach him on Twitter @JayEllRichy.