Louisiana’s women are stealing political jobs from hard-working, honest men.
According to The Center for Women in Politics, labeled a hate group by the men’s rights group “Mo’ Money Mo’ Men,” found 85.5 percent of the state legislature is held by ungodly harlots who don’t understand a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
Everywhere you turn in Louisiana, statewide and local offices are filled with women, and it’s terrible. We need more sausage in this gumbo.
Even though women make up a majority of the people voting in Louisiana’s elections, they shouldn’t need to feel represented by their legislators.
When it comes to “women’s issues” like equal pay and reproductive health care, men are doing a great job representing women.
That’s why Louisiana has the lowest gender pay gap of any state in the country, according to Mo’ Money Mo’ Men, with women earning 100 cents for every dollar a man makes for the same work.
Even better, a 2013 report from the House Republican Men’s Health and Welfare Committee gave Louisiana an “A” in reproductive health care.
It’s clear Louisiana men do an excellent job of representing women.
This kind of “take it or leave it” leadership gave us visionaries from U.S. Sen. David Vitter and U.S. Rep. Steve Scalise to U.S. Sen. Bill Cassidy and Gov. Bobby Jindal.
But men are tired of having to govern all the time. It must be stressful having so many important decisions resting on their manly shoulders.
Jindal explained this problem Wednesday from his Jindal for President Iowa bunker: “Putting Louisiana on cruise control has been pretty grueling for me. I mean, I have to think about Louisiana at least once a day when I’m running for president, and that’s exhausting.”
He then tossed a new “BobBAE” button, presumably to appeal to millennials, into the trash.
“It’s especially hard for men in Congress these days,” Vitter said, “Times are a changin’. Some of my colleagues told me of the good ol’ days when there were no women’s bathrooms in the Senate.”
“I mean, many of us could have used that space for marriage or legal counseling,” he said longingly.
Lately, Vitter, a loyal Catholic, is seen running around the Hart Senate Office Building looking for free legal advice, shouting at any person who will listen, “Do you know if DNA evidence can be used in court?”
Scalise lamented the loss of another Congressional mancave. “I just thought it was another neighborhood association meeting, I swear!” he said looking as white as a sheet as he abruptly ran away from me.
This isn’t the leadership we deserve — it’s the leadership our state needs. When women lead, it has only led our state into disaster.
“Whenever I would try and get more federal dollars for Louisiana to restore our coast from the BP oil spill to Katrina, I couldn’t find anyone to help,” lamented former woman U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu.
“David told us all we needed to look for a new place for the mancave,” said Cassidy, looking like a nervous high school freshman on his first day of class. “When I was in the House, no one included me in the old mancave. Whoa, I’m just hoping people like me in the Senate.”
This is the leadership Louisiana’s men can provide. If we’re lucky, maybe this leadership style can inspire a new generation of leaders to solve our state’s problems.
There is a lot at stake for Louisiana. Men can lead us in the future to make our state proud.
Well, if we haven’t fallen into the Gulf already.
Michael Beyer is a 21-year-old political science senior from New Orleans. You can reach him on Twitter @michbeyer.