“Just in case this is true, I’d rather be better safe than sorry” *insert meaningless legal mumbo-jumbo.*
If you’ve scrolled through Facebook in the past week, you may have seen someone you thought was smart — or a relative you know isn’t — copy and paste this status.
The latest one makes me want to become a lawyer so I can sue whoever thought it up for crimes against intelligence.
It usually starts something like this, “As of *insert today’s date and time* I do not give Facebook or any related entities permission to use my pictures, information or posts, both past and future.”
These statuses, which I will refer to as “legal copypasta,” delude those who don’t bother to check if something they read on the Internet are as fake asDonald Trump’s hair.
When I search the legal copypasta in Google, all of the results are articles from various websites debunking them as a hoax. This is the first red flag because Google is widely known as the gatekeeper of information.
If you don’t trust an algorithm to tell you whether you should believe a random person on the Internet, then try the myth busters at Snopes.com. The world-renowned rumor/urban legend busting couple Barbara and David Mikkelson updated their entry on the “Facebook Privacy Notice” hoax late September.
As they note, all of the data you willingly post on Facebook is ruled by their terms of service, including the Statement of Rights and Responsibilities and Data Policy.
To quote the latter, Facebook will “use the information we have to improve our advertising and measurement systems so we can show you relevant ads.”
As a condition of signing up, every person with an account agreed to let Facebook use what they post for all kinds of purposes. As with any contract, they have to hold up their end of the bargain, or they don’t get to use Facebook at all.
Specifically, Facebook users agreed to give the company a “non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook.”
Sounds like a deal nobody would ever agree to, right? That’s what happens when you scroll to the bottom of an important legal notice because you can’t wait to share a picture of your cat in a hat or 53 new photos of your baby — every single day.
To get back to the legal copypasta, what often gives these hoaxes an allure of legality and legitimacy is the litany of laws cited.
The one I saw most recently cited the Rome Statute, which among other things establishes the International Criminal Court and the crimes of genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and so-called crimes of aggression.
I have no idea why anybody would think an international law making genocide illegal has anything to do with Facebook privacy concerns. Then again, people who take legal copypasta seriously are the kind of people who don’t double check their posts.
Unlike the Rome Statute, I know why section 1-308 of the Uniform Commercial Code is often included in these statuses. That particular subsection of the UCC is one way in which “sovereign citizens” try to assert that the federal government is illegitimate.
The movement originated from white supremacist William P. Gale, but its modern-day permutations crop up in everybody from controversial rancher Cliven Bundy to black drug dealers in Baltimore to the Oklahoma City bomber.
Without getting too far into it, the movement uses out of context legal quotes from the UCC and patriotic rhetoric to try slip out of the government’s clutches. Their actions are similar to how the legal copypasta tries to slip posters out of Facebook’s terms of service.
The misuse of law isn’t even the dumbest thing about these posts. That title is reserved for the declaration at the end, usually in all caps, “DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste.”
I have no way of knowing what convinced the original author to include this nonsense, but I do have a guess.
Somewhere in the depths of Facebook’s terms of service, there is a clause that states Facebook’s license to use your pictures and posts ends when you delete your account. The catch is, if your friends shared your content, Facebook still retains the license.
You know why I know all of this? I read the damn thing. Heads up to those wondering, posting a nonsense status instead of sharing it gives it no more credibility.
In an age where the knowledge of generations is at our fingertips, it amazes me people still refuse to use it.
Do me a favor: When you see posts like this, go to the upper right corner and click “Hide post” then report it as spam. You’ll be doing God’s work.
Jack Richards is a 20-year-old mass communication junior from New Orleans. You can reach him on Twitter @JayEllRichy.