Score: 1.5/5
Writers continue to recycle every idea imaginable for romantic comedies, yet we still buy in. Even if a movie meets every requirement of simply being an awful movie, we fall for the “feels” before realizing that $10 movie ticket could have been a really good sandwich that provides the same result. “Aloha” further convinced me that this genre of movies is a lost cause.
“Aloha” begins with military contractor Brian Gilcrest, played by Bradley Cooper, returning to work in Honolulu, Hawaii, after being away and off-duty for 13 years. He reconvenes with former girlfriend Tracy Woodside, played by Rachel McAdams, who is now married with children, but he starts to show interest in Allison Ng, played by Emma Stone, who is on assignment as Gilcrest’s Air Force watchdog.
John “Woody” Woodside, played by John Krasinski, managed to win everyone over as Tracy’s husband who is the silent type and, thankfully, spoke maybe three lines.
And the love quadrangle unfolds from there.
I originally thought, “This cast is promising for a rom com.” Twenty minutes into the film, I assumed the celebrity factor had to be intentional in leading viewers astray from the movie’s underdeveloped plot and sad delivery of a laughable script.
“Aloha” uses its island setting as a backboard for upbeat moods, quirky humor and free-spirited lifestyles among certain characters – but fails as a wannabe indie movie.
Director and writer Cameron Crowe attempts to tie in spirituality and astronomy to add drama but creates only confusion in the process.
Allison Ng reeks of intensity in every fashion. She shows flawless work ethic as a tough captain but lacks common sense in social settings. Her speech and mannerisms display an oddness that made me cringe rather than smile. She works to make herself relevant through random contexts and makes strong moves toward Gilcrest that are uncomfortable to witness. Somehow, everyone finds her delightful, and she captures the heart of every character with her care-free attitude.
I walked into this movie wanting the same depth Cooper showed in Silver Linings Playbook, one gem of a dramatic rom-com, and walked out feeling lied to. The Newk’s Club sandwich I saw in Tuesday’s paper, however, did not let me down, and I wish my “Aloha” ticket took the form of that instead.