Cigarettes and alcohol.
This pair was once as inseparable and acceptable – and American – as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, but somewhere along the line a rift was born, leaving drinkers steaming ahead while smokers choked on the fumes.
The demonization of smoking – or smokers, in particular – is a peculiar feat. I’d reckon the capacity for humans to kill themselves in the most pleasurable of ways is inexhaustible, and singling out a man or woman for choosing one pernicious pleasure over another is unfair.
But what troubles me are the personal assaults on smokers for problems that aren’t inherently smokers’ problems.
I think we can settle some misunderstandings, which is why I put forward a Smoker’s Manifesto for Etiquette.
Take littering, for instance. Have you ever seen a captioned photo of cigarette butts on the ground with the headline, “This is why I hate smokers”?
I have. But such one-sided chastisement smacks of personal prejudice against the act of smoking.
What about the act of littering? Simple solution: No one should litter.
As smokers, we must always take the extra effort to dispose of butts responsibly, and as people, we shouldn’t throw our trash on the ground. It’s not a matter of smoking but of being a decent and respectful person.
Another important factor of smoking etiquette is minding your smoke and surroundings.
Don’t smoke around children.
Children should never be exposed to adult substances without parental consent, especially alcohol and tobacco. Smokers should always take note when children are around and move away accordingly.
Along the same grain, one should mind his or her smoke.
When sitting at a table with friends, smokers or not, watch the way your smoke is blowing.
Believe it or not, nonsmokers, no one likes the taste or smell of secondhand cigarette smoke.
Smokers, I know it seems to be a natural law that your smoke will inevitably blow directly in the face of whomever is sitting with you, but you must be mindful of the air of others, whether in public or private.
Watch your exhalation, as well. When in groups and crowds, always exhale upward above the heads of those around you. And hold your cigarette embers in rather than out so the only person at risk of being burned is yourself.
Minding your surroundings also means always asking before smoking at someone’s home, even if outside.
On the whole, these guidelines are obvious. The general message is to not be an ass and not to invade other people’s space.
Just as you don’t want your food or drink to get on your neighbor, neither should you allow your ashes or smoke to meet a similar fate.
Courteousness, cleanliness and non-invasiveness are traits all people should uphold in every activity.
Smokers, our days of smoking freely and openly are numbered by most measures.
Fliers are popping up around campus each day demonizing smokers for their individual choices. Don’t give them ammo by smoking irresponsibly.
I argue the strife may be avoided if we smoke responsibly and respectfully, especially regarding those around us.
Imagine the difference between finding a man outside surrounded by six crushed Natty Light cans and another sipping a gin and tonic.
It’s a rough comparison, but the message is that presentation is key. The difference will be just as stark if you use an ashtray rather than toss your trash on the ground.
With mutual respect for one another’s decisions and space, I imagine we can all kill ourselves together without arguing in the meantime.
You pick your poison, I’ll pick mine, and we can all agree to keep the two apart.
 
Clayton Crockett is a 20-year-old international studies sophomore from Lafayette. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_ccrockett.
 
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Contact Clayton Crockett at [email protected]