Editor’s note: This column contains explicit language.
If I were Mitt Romney, I’d be shitting my pants.
Recently, the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of President Obama’s flagship piece of legislation, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Thanks to the help of conservative Chief Justice John Roberts, the law was upheld despite fierce opposition.
Immediately following the decision, Romney held a press conference denouncing Obamacare, claiming that, under his leadership, we can repeal this unjust tax.
At this point, I would just like to say that Mitt Romney would gladly shoot his mother in the head if it meant he could be president.
Secondly, Obamacare is based off something, it’s not an original idea. That’s how the federal government tends to work. Policies are tested in the state, sort of like little laboratories for national legislation. Obamacare is based off a state-wide healthcare program Mitt Romney initiated as governor in Massachusetts.
So when Romney gets up and denounces Obamacare, all America should hear is this: “I, Mitt Romney, have terrible ideas. Nobody should ever listen to me, because when my ideas are implemented, the first thing I want to do is repeal them.”
Romney is his own worst enemy. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Mitt Romney’s secret liberal can occasionally manage to create policy, much to the dismay of his Republican outer shell.
It’s fairly easy to find sound bites and clips of politicians fumbling over their own words, readily contradicting a statement they made two weeks prior – but it’s just too easy with Romney.
Every idea Mitt Romney has ever had, he has later retracted and/or contradicted. Romneycare, good for Massachusetts, not for America. What does that even mean?
Let’s take a closer look at Obamacare.
According to CBS, 32 million Americans who currently do not have health insurance will be covered under the plan. That is one-tenth of the country. Sounds pretty good to me.
“Starting in 2014, insurance companies cannot deny coverage to anyone with preexisting conditions,” according to CBS. Good, I’m tired of insurance companies constantly pissing on our heads, telling us it’s raining and then saying we only have non-pissing rain coverage.
Conservatives will say it is a much-too-expensive venture. Let’s check that fact.
The cost of the program is $940 billion over 10 years, and it will reduce the deficit by $143 billion during the first 10 years and a further $1.2 trillion during the second decade after implementation, according to CBS.
“Don’t tread on me!” cry the conservatives. “Freedom, I’ll castrate my uninsured ass before I’ll ever pay another tax!”
Yes, there will be a tax/penalty leveled against those who do not have health insurance by 2014. That is how a checkbook works. You must have revenue before gaining purchasing power.
Part of Obamacare will be funded through tanning bed taxes, so every time somebody goes to get their daily dose of melanoma, they’ll be paying for their own future chemo.
There is no difference between this and car insurance. You want to drive? Pay for car insurance. You want to live? Pay for health insurance.
But this is America, which allows us the freedom to debate, the freedom to disagree – and subsequently the freedom to be idiots.
So if you don’t want to pay for health insurance, pay the fine. Don’t go crying to the government when your nuts fall off.
Parker Cramer is a 21-year-old political science senior from Houston. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_pcramer.
Contact Parker Cramer at [email protected].