It’s early September, and most shows haven’t made their fall premieres yet. We’re down to that last bleak week before all the shows we love come back on the air and balance is restored to the universe.

What we’ve got instead to occupy our brains at the moment is the latest viral music video. Yes, we can finally stop Rick Rolling each other with Carly Rae Jepsen. Somewhere in the cosmos, the stars aligned and the gods of weirdness came together and said, “Let there be ‘Gangnam Style.'” And it was good.

If you haven’t watched this cinematic masterpiece yet, a) I’m sorry about your life, and b) go watch it right now. Seriously. Watch it. Stop reading this post and watch it. Then probably watch it again, because you will not understand what you just watched. Then come back.

“Gangnam Style” is an four-minute epic created by Korean pop star Psy, in which he asks the tough questions. Are you the type who can enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee or do you one-shot it before it even cools down? Would you rather a man with bulging muscles or bulging ideas? And most importantly, what is going on with pop music in Korea and how can we get on that level?

The video has been a breakout hit for Psy in America, and he’s spent the past week twerkin’ all over the U.S., popping up at the VMAs and stopping by Ellen to teach Britney Spears his choreography, all the while sharing his age-old philosophy with the world: “Dress classy and dance cheesy.”

I actually looked up the English translation of this song so that I could have some idea of what exactly I was listening to. As it turns out, “oppa” is a Korean term of endearment for an older gentleman, and Gangnam is a wealthy part of Seoul. So, basically, this is a song about a man who wants to be your sugar daddy. Form a single-file line, ladies and gents.

I’ve watched this video more times than I would care to count, because it is beautiful and bizarre and fascinating, and I’ve come to the conclusion that “Gangnam” is actually the answer to all of the world’s problems. Really. Let’s Gangnam our way to world peace, planet earth.

I decided the most appropriate drink was an assortment of colorful jello shots for different parts of the video, because this video is a party and every weird party needs jello shots.

THE ASCOT — lemon jello & Smirnoff passionfruit vodka

THE SWIMMING POOL — blue raspberry jello & Smirnoff peach vodka

THE PARTY BUS — strawberry jello & Smirnoff whipped cream vodka

THE ELEVATOR — lime jello & Smirnoff coconut vodka

THE BEACH — orange jello & Smirnoff mango vodka