Keyboards stopped clacking, faces contorted and heads snapped toward a mystery reporter after his question during one of LSU coach Les Miles’ weekly press luncheons last November. What did he just say? It was bound to happen. Then a redshirt freshman, punter Brad Wing was developing international interest with his deadly accurate leg and Australian roots. So, the questioner posed, had Miles considered recruiting Australia for the second coming of the über punter? There wasn’t an audible groan – we’re professionals, folks – but the agony was tangible. With a limited amount of time to ask the pertinent questions – how many pairs of shoes did Jordan Jefferson really have? – we would now endure an international recruiting answer. Except the question was directed at Miles, and he answered it the way only he could. “You should have the opportunity at a walkabout…” Miles said, somehow suppressing a grin. “They tell me they have great white sharks in that area. The international players have dealt with crocodiles and put themselves a in great position to compete in our conference.” Boom. Roasted. Gleeful fingers flew over keyboards, recounting the tale to the Twitterverse. Everyone moved on, the real questions resumed, we forgot. Well, almost everyone forgot. Except for the mystery questioner, who undoubtedly is sitting in a dark room somewhere, laughing, his Crocodile Dundee VHS playing on repeat. He won. Meet 23-year-old freshman import Jamie Keehn, LSU’s other punter from the land Down Under. Yeah, LSU has a couple of Aussie punters. Deal with it, mate. And while they will focus mostly on their on-field performance, they were glad to dispel some fiction about their home country.
FOSTER’S, AUSTRALIAN FOR NOTHING Just try to stand in a group of men and drop the open-ended statement “Foster’s…” in their midst without eliciting a response. But it’s not Australian for beer. “That’s a misconception,” Keehn said. “No one drinks Foster’s. They market it well … but we don’t drink Foster’s back home. I don’t think you can even buy Foster’s. I’ve never even seen it on the shelf back home.” Well then, Foster’s, if an Australian man finds his first Foster’s beer in an American store, you’ve got some explaining to do.
BLOOMIN’ NONION It’s doubtful that most Americans believe the bloomin’ onion is a naturally occurring species. That being said, Outback Steakhouse scores well with Keehn with its Australian-sized portions of steak and sides. “I’ve been once, I had to try it,” Keehn said. “To be honest, they do a pretty good job. Some of the stuff on the menu doesn’t really portray Australians too well, but the steaks were good. I’ll give them that.” Wing, on the other hand didn’t give such a glowing review. “It’s good food, but it’s a bit over the top,” Wing said. “I don’t think it’s traditional Australian.” So what is traditional Australian? “You know what, I don’t even have a traditional type meal,” Wing admitted.
PRAWNS ON THE BARBIE Prawns, bloke. They’re like brawny shrimp. And shrimp aren’t shrimp, they’re small prawns. “There’s no shrimps, it’s always prawns,” Keehn said. “I don’t know where shrimp on the barbie started.”
BIG GUYS, BIG CAT, BIG HEARTS It’s become sort of a legend in the Reveille newsroom. At a practice during fall camp, I overheard Wing telling a dramatic story about how he vanquished kicker Drew Alleman in the big cat drill, where two players line up face-to-face and try to knock their opponent backwards after Miles blows his whistle. “One-for-one in my big cat career,” Wing said at the time. “Massacred him.” Keehn, meanwhile, sports a beastly 6-foot-4-inch, 220-pound frame. Surely he would rival Wing’s prowess. Will Keehn be the country’s first feared punter? “We’re always ready to have a bit of fun and make contact,” Keehn said. “But I’m not expecting to make any tackles.”
NO WALKABOUTS Miles sounded optimistic about his walkabout chances last year. With alligators and swamps handy, the danger could fit. But he should have done his research. They’d miss the football season completing a traditional walking trip in the bush, which lasts up to six months. “We’re pretty booked here for the next couple of months,” Wing said. “I don’t think we’ll be going anywhere. None of that. Just kicking footballs.” Leave it to the professionals, coach. “We’ll leave that up to Crocodile Dundee, won’t we?” Keehn said. The professional.
 
____ Contact Luke Johnson at [email protected]; Twitter: @lukejohnson44