Dearest Gov. Jindal, for the sakes of conservatism and Louisiana, please don’t have a relationship with that woman, Mrs. Palin.Run in 2016. I’ll support you — as long as your candidacy in no way relates to Gov. Palin’s.Regardless, I’m assuming your election chances will be higher if you claimed a re-election bid with unprecedented approval ratings and a shiny new state for show and tell at the 2016 primaries.But let’s talk Palin. Forget experience concerns, gosh-darn Troopergate, that little ole’ secessionist movement thingy and that $150,000, donor-financed shopping spree. There’s a laundry list of things to clean up before she fits the mold as a serious contender. She can’t debate or hold interviews or press conferences. She allegedly can’t name the three countries in North America and has no idea whether Africa is a country or a planet.She couldn’t name a single newspaper she reads on a daily basis. She hasn’t offered any national policy proposals or concrete advice on the direction of her party.And it’s partially her fault  that a rotting elephant carcass hangs in disgrace, mounted neatly above President-elect Barack Obama’s White House fireplace.Palin’s approval rating among voters nationwide is part of the reason Republicans were embarrassed on Election Day. She can’t attract moderates, Independents, Democrats or even traditional conservatives in places like Virginia and North Carolina, yet people still consider Palin a contender.Bobby, don’t be like them.She couldn’t get the Hillary vote, the female vote, the rural vote, the urban vote, the youth vote or the minority vote and didn’t impact the religious vote.But she taught us a lot about elections: The only time Republicans led in the polls was after the national convention when Palin was introduced. She came across as a motivated, family-oriented woman, capable of defending the cause of conservatism from both Obama and John McCain. Two months later it’s clear she was only popular when she functioned as an idea — the idea that people out there are still capable of successfully defending conservatism and family values, and looking good doing it. But she’s no longer the symbol of a progressive conservative electorate.You are.As Republican voters get older and whiter, the rest of America becomes younger and darker. You tell me whom the electoral landscape more clearly reflects?You’re the symbol of the party that freed the slaves, a party where names and colors mean less than ideas and solutions.I know it’s not politically savvy to take advice from a college student, but as a member of the youth vote so crucial to future candidates, it may be wise to heed this warning. Because it’s people like me who will be pushing your grassroots campaigns later.You missed your national introduction as the potential standard bearer of conservatism to protect us from Hurricane Gustav. You transcended racial barriers by becoming Louisiana’s second non-white governor. And this is your chance to dispel the myth that Obama is a source of progress rather than a product of it.You’ve already distanced yourself from the tragic McCain campaign, but may not have done enough to distance yourself from the Bush administration. There’s still time.You have a background in education and health care, which makes you uniquely suited to make these conservative rather than liberal issues. You’ve championed tax cuts and ethics reforms and you’re unabashedly pro-life with no skeletons in the closet — yet. And you’re barely old enough to be president, so there is still plenty of time to run — just ask McCain.You have an outstanding resume, exorcised a demon, delivered your own baby and have begun castrating child rapists. And it comforts me to know that if my governor can’t have the heads of sex offenders, he’ll at least have their balls.Your candidacy could spell the end of the white devil’s hold on the White House. Assuming predictions that whites will be a minority by 2042, Obama wins re-election and you serve two terms as president, there is a damn good chance we might not see another white president for 20 years. And who’s not happy about that?But real conservatives have moved past the racial and gender barriers that others can’t seem to cross.Take this time to focus on what Democrats get right and how you should adapt. We can drop this culture war crap — partially because no one cares anymore, but mostly because we’re on the minority side of the divide now.While you’re checking out the cornfields in Iowa on Saturday, just remember while the Republican Party is on its deathbed, it’s also one great candidate away from revival.So, for the time being, please don’t leave us. But in 2016, laissez le bons temps rouler.—-Contact Daniel Lumetta at [email protected]