I lost several brain cells last week.It was a sacrifice I was willing to make to bring you the scathing reality of what it takes to be Paris Hilton’s BFF.”I’m Paris Hilton, and I’m an amazing best friend.”So starts the first season of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF which premiered on MTV last Tuesday.Two boys and 16 girls arrived at Le Deux nightclub in Los Angeles prepared to duke it out over who gets to be the next Nicole Richie.Paris said any BFF of hers must “prove that they can party, have taste, class and business savvy.”These are obvious traits she requires from looking at past BFFs like Richie, Kimberly Stewart, Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian.I think a more apt description of a Paris Hilton BFF is a hot mess with an eating disorder and a sex tape, but who am I to judge?  As the contestants settled into party mode while Paris spied on them from another room, I could only think of one thing — that saying “it’s like the blind leading the blind” was never more applicable.These poor saps worship Paris and everything she stands for. But how can someone so completely clueless attract anything but clueless social climbing posers?The contestants are not brain surgeons, as evident by their answers to the all important question, “Why are you the best candidate for Paris’ BFF?”Lauren from Sacramento, Calif., definitely had the narcissism required to be a celebrity.”I feel like this is a dream come true because I’ve always wanted people to know about me and who I am,” she said.Francisca from Pasadena, Calif., let her emotions take control with an emphatic “I’m about to wet my pants right now.”Onch, a cross dressing diva from Los Angeles said he had theadvantage because he is “the best of both worlds. I’m an amazing girlfriend and an amazing boyfriend too.”Athena from Long Island, N.J., said she had a shot because she could show Paris what it was like to be in a sorority.Kiki from Miami said she knows what it’s like to be on Paris’ level.”I’ve been hated on most of my life because I’m pretty and nice and I guess people who wish they had those qualities are jealous and hate me because they wish they were me,” she said, ever so modestly.Sinsu from Pasadena, Calif., rounded out the question section with a “What was the question again?”  The real drama began when Paris brought her “pets” in for makeovers.Three of the contestants refused to apply the changes Paris suggested.Paris was deeply hurt by their lack of trust, and the three contestants were forced to walk the red carpet in the clothes they had worn the night before without so much as a shower.It was important for Paris to teach them a lesson about loyalty.In the end Vanessa from Anchorage, Alaska was the first winner after she talked smack about the other contestants to Paris.Paris appreciated that Vanessa had her back and took her suggestions to heart, nominating contestants for eviction based on Vanessa’s advice.As a show of her goodwill, Paris gave Vanessa a pink diamond ring.Porn star wannabe Michelle got sent home because she didn’t trust Paris enough to take her suggestions to dye her hair black.I doubt Paris is aware of this, but her new reality show gives a unique perspective into her psyche.After the night at Les Deux, Paris automatically sent home four girls who she thought were merely social climbers.What else would they possibly be there for?No one wakes up one day and says, “I want to be Paris’ BFF so that I can spend time getting to know her as a person.” They say, “I want to be Paris’ BFF so I can walk the red carpet, wear designer clothes and party at the hottest nightclubs.”More than anything, this show portrayed Paris’ naiveté. Her quest for loyalty and friendship is a heartbreaking journey.Paris felt betrayed by the contestants who didn’t trust her enough to let her give them makeovers. Her feelings were crushed when Kiki expressed a desire to go home to Miami. Her heart was mangled by the decision to send four girls packing — girls Paris knew were only trying to benefit from her celebrity status.Paris is a woman with real feelings and fears. She deserves a BFF who will shy from the limelight and support her behind the scenes.It’s lonely at the top, and Paris knows this better than anyone.When you’re a celebrity, everyone is trying to get a piece of you, but Paris holds out hope that somewhere out there a heart beats just for her — not her money and status.Too bad she won’t find it this season.MTV has already greenlighted season two.—-Contact Caitlyn Scott at [email protected]