It all started last January with a porn shop employee in Denver. I sparked his interest when I asked his expertise on the array of lubricants. Soon we were chatting it up, and wouldn’t you know what came up next?
Anal bleaching.
“No!” I gasped. “People really do that?!”
I am here to tell you it’s true. Anal bleaching is in the reality that surrounds us, and it’s time to be empowered with knowledge.
The anal bleaching procedure is offered by a handful of salons, or in the privacy of your own home.
It is relatively simple: wax the anus and apply bleaching cream (make sure the product has no harsh chemicals like Kojic Acid or Hydroquinone). After that, simply apply the cream each night until you get the “color” of your choice.
The whole process takes only one to two weeks. If there is any tenderness or any burning sensations, decrease the frequency of treatments or stop entirely.
Anal bleaching is not new. In 2000 gossip columnist Ted Casablanca reported that Lara Flynn Boyle and Courtney Cox received anal bleaching. But the real person we can thank for bringing anal bleaching to the forefront is porn star Tabitha Stevens. Last year Tabitha showed up on “Dr. 90210” to bleach her a-hole to perfection.
But Tabitha, Lara and Courtney are not the only ones who want anuses that are pretty in pink.
It’s regular people: housewives, gay men, dancers and others. A large number of clients who wax below the belt complain that their vaginal and anal areas are too dark.
Why is the anal area darker? I couldn’t get a straight answer. Some sources say dyes in processed foods and soft drinks cause the problem.
Others state it is genetics. One simply said the cause is a “poor wiping technique.” Whatever it is, some people simply do not like it.
And it makes sense.
We’ve got Botoxî, breast augmentation, brow lifts, chemical peels, chin implants, ear modifications, eyelid and face lifts, hair replacements, liposuction, nose jobs, permanent makeup, spider vein removals, tummy tucks, upper arm lifts – and the list goes on and on.
In our society, beauty and perfection is integral. Of course there are people who want to be completely perfect. No hairs out of place, no stretch marks, completely flawless. It is simply the next step.
And I try not to judge. I try to keep an open mind about people’s personal choices. Who can’t help feeling a little inferior considering the air brushed perfect media images? But for someone to actually think that their anus is ugly, let me tell you something: Helloooo it’s an anus! It isn’t a rose, you know.
There’s also the health issue. Many types of anal bleach contain amounts of harmful ingredients such as hydroquinone which can have damaging long-term effects such as thinning of the skin, hyper-pigmentation and destruction of melanin-producing cells.
Not that the threat of health problems or death has ever truly stopped anyone from going through these beauty treatments, but still. Ultimately think of it this way: do you really want to mess around with your anus? Really. What could happen might make it look a whole lot crazier than it does now.
Accepting your anus is one step closer to accepting yourself.
And that is poetry right there.
 
Laura is a communication studies senior. Contact her at [email protected]