BREAKING NEWS — After all these years, scientists have finally discovered the reason why some people are gay!Homosexuality is a direct result of, you guessed it, pornography, specifically Playboy, according to Michael Schwartz, chief of staff to Republican Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma.That’s a rather bold statement from a congressional staff member.Speaking at this year’s Values Voters Summit, Schwartz made this outlandish claim, and others, including “All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inward.” Unfortunately, his reasoning here is somewhat lacking.I have serious doubts a magazine filled with pictures of boobs causes this “plague” we call homosexuality. Teen boys across the country would probably roll over laughing at such an assertion.I mean, if someone looks at boobs and thinks, “Gross, I think I’ll stick with guys,” maybe he’s actually just inclined to liking men.I also have a hard time believing homosexuality suddenly sprung up during the 20th century. I mean, did Alexander the Great and Richard the Lion Heart really have access to porn?Maybe I’m being too logical.After all, statements like this were a dime a dozen at the bastion of knowledge that is the Values Voters Summit.The values emphasized at the summit are true American values, such as the rejection of pretty much all scientific fact relating to climate change and that rugged individualism which comes with labeling this country’s ruling political party socialistic.An important sidenote here: this was the same summit where former Miss California Carrie Prejean got up and explained to attendees how God was testing her the day she voiced her opposition to gay marriage.Now, it’s fine if you are against gay marriage — I myself have a few reservations about it — but please do not claim God was somehow testing you.Statements like this have no place in a country faced with an unending amount of problems, among them teen health and pregnancy.Sexuality and sex need to be more openly talked about. Why? Because without it, the U.S. will continue to have one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies in the developed world.We need to abolish abstinence education. Abstinence-only education programs are among one of the nation’s biggest jokes. If you’re looking for proof behind this, google Sarah or Bristol Palin.Ask yourselves, how many of your friends are virgins?Maybe my friends are more promiscuous than most, but I’d say at least four in five of my friends at LSU have had sex.Instead, what we need to be talking about is how to prevent teen pregnancies.And by that, I don’t mean throwing around condoms and calling it a day. Rather, there needs to be a class in high school where teens are really taught the burdens of being a teen parent.Furthermore, such classes should stress the devastating effects of STDs, particularly ones like herpes and HIV that don’t go away.It is also the responsibility of parents to have an honest conversation with their children about sex. Rather than sheltering kids, parents need to be honest and explain the reality of the world they will face.If such honesty and openness were to result in lower teen pregnancy rates, then this would also result in a reduced abortion rate.If Schwartz’s ridiculous statements could somehow start a debate about sex and sexuality, then at least some good came as a result.But if he believes boobs in Playboy somehow made me like boys, then I have to wonder about the state of affairs in Sen. Coburn’s office if it’s being led by someone so blatantly stupid.Stephen Schmitz is a 19-year-old mass communication sophomore from The Woodlands, Texas.  Follow him on Twitter @TDR_sschmitz.—-Contact Stephen Schmitz at [email protected]