Conflict between roommates consistently ranks among the top five reasons students drop out of college. When you have a terrible roommate it affects your mood, your GPA and everything in your day-to-day life.
College dorms and off-campus apartments try to ease roommate tension by providing online room matching services. While they report to cause a 65 percent reduction in roommate conflicts, many students still face problems with their living situation.
Studies show you are likely to act similarly to your roommate. If they’re happy, you are nine percent more likely to be happy. If they are eating more or dieting, you are likely to match their eating habits. You are also likely to match their studying and partying habits.
You are impressionable to your roommate’s sway, so it is important to learn how to communicate effectively with those you live with. Communication is essential to any relationship, but it is especially important to be open and honest with those you live with.
“Specifically communicate about what you need, what you have to offer, how you like to communicate in general since that is going to set up any relationship, whether it’s living with someone or working with someone, or working on a group project with someone,” Wendy Wippich, director of campus living at DePauw University said.
Finding your best friend via random roommate matching is rare, so you should expect the need for constructive communication to help solve any problems you find over time. Even if you are rooming with a friend, you will probably run into conflict before you live somewhere else.
“Conflict is a healthy part of a relationship. It can lead to good things if managed early and if talked through and if negotiation and compromise can take place,” Kendra Hunter, director of university housing at Arizona State University said.
Be courteous, be honest and always remember you are not the only one living in your dorm or apartment. Compromise may be annoying, but it’s more annoying to be around a jerk who acts like they own the place. It shouldn’t be so hard to stay civil, but if a fight arises it is crucial to keep the argument mature and within the group.
You and your roommate will probably see one another at each other’s worst, so it is important to remember that people on the outside will not be able to fully understand the living dynamic. Roommate conversations often deal with personal subjects, so things can get emotional quickly and can leave one roommate feeling attacked or bullied when involving third parties.
“The thing that puts the most strain on a roommate relationship is bringing other people into the dynamic that don’t need to be there,” Wippich said.
To ensure you get the most out of your college experience, it is important to make friends you don’t live with. It is fun to live with all your greatest friends, but what seems like a great idea can sometimes come back to hurt you. Friends are not always meant to live with each other.
Everyone deserves to feel good and respected in their own living space. There are many temporary people and places in your college life, but if you and your roommate can act like the adults you are both supposed to be, it can help make your dorm or apartment feel like a home.
Lynne Bunch is an 18-year-old mass communication freshman from Terrytown, Louisiana.