Helicopter parenting is generally defined as parents’ over-involvement in their children’s lives. This includes things like solving all of their child’s problems for them, handling all of their child’s responsibilities and intervening in situations with their child’s friends, professors or employers. This style of parenting is detrimental to students and has no place in college life.
Almost every study done on helicopter parenting has found it has little to no benefit for students. Conversely, most studies find that it is actually detrimental to students.
A 2015 study by professors at Brigham Young University revealed high levels of helicopter parenting correlated with lower levels of self-worth and a higher risk for depression, anxiety and lower overall life satisfaction among college students.
Indiana University psychologist Chris Meno found there is a correlation between students with helicopter parents and students with difficulty finding a job after graduation. These students have never experienced real failure, while simultaneously being told by their parents that they can do anything they want in life. When their dream job does not just drop into their lap post-graduation, many get frustrated, give up and move back in with their parents.
It is understandable why parents would want to be so involved in their children’s lives. College is a bigger risk now than it ever has been before. The price is high and, with so many people now possessing degrees and increasing competition, so are the stakes. Graduation is key, and helicopter parenting is a sure way to make sure your child gets there.
I am all for students having a close relationship with their parents. I personally talk to my mom daily and will not hesitate to ask for her opinion or advice on any major problems I incur. However, that is where it should stop. I am an adult, and my mom or dad should not be the one making my major life decisions, monitoring my grades, emailing my professors and handling arguments in my personal life.
Professors all have horror stories of parents calling them, emailing them and even going to class to take notes on their student’s behalf. Jonathan Gibralter, president of Wells College in upstate New York told the New York Post that one mother even went as far as to ask if she could complete her daughter’s internship for her. These parents are willing to do whatever it takes for their children to succeed.
Most parents just want what is best for their children, and some see shielding them from any form of failure as a way to preserve their future success and happiness. However, failure is a healthy, necessary part of life that teaches you what to correct in the future.
The rhetoric constantly says millennials are entitled, coddled, lazy and cannot do anything for themselves, but how did they get that way? The same parents throwing out those insults oftentimes have children who fit the bill themselves. It is difficult to be anything other than lazy and entitled when someone is constantly doing everything for you and sheltering you from every inconvenience.
As hard as it might be, parents need to relax their grip on their child’s lives. Everything is good in moderation and this is no different. A balance between support and independence is essential for a well-rounded adult.
Anna Coleman is a 19-year-old mass communication junior from Kennesaw, Georgia.