People, especially girls and young women, shouldn’t fear losing their virginity because of what society thinks.
In society, adolescents have a concept of virginity before they even understand what sex is. In many cultures, young women are made to feel as if they must save themselves for marriage while men get a free pass. This unhealthy teaching leads to more problems than simple acceptance would.
There is a lot of pressure being placed on women to be “pure” until marriage. It is both insulting and inhumane to describe a person as “impure,” regardless of her sexual history. It isn’t for another to determine whether someone is pure or not, and sexual intercourse doesn’t make someone “dirty.” Teaching women to remain virgins until marriage is how some justify their judgments towards them.
Men are also affected by this way of teaching. Men want to engage in sexual acts with women but proceed to change whether he respects these women or not. Every human deserves respect, regardless of their past or pastimes.
It is mentally unhealthy to force abstinence on young people. Safe-sex education has been proven to be much more efficient than abstinence teaching. The actual discussion of sex that comes with safe-sex education rather than the ignorance promoted by teaching abstinence is what makes the biggest impact. It removes the curiosity from young minds as well as promoting healthier habits.
These healthier habits are what prevent unplanned pregnancies and the spread of STDs. Many people don’t know how to properly prevent STDs, and some are unaware that STDs can be passed through all sexual activities, not just vaginal-penile intercourse. Approximately 110 million Americans carry an STD that can be passed to others. These STDs can lead to serious complications, some of which are permanent. It doesn’t matter whether the STD was obtained by vaginal, oral or anal sex; they can all cause serious harm.
Talking about how STDs can be transmitted is important because most common STD knowledge is based on heterosexual intercourse. In the LGBTQ community, teaching about STDs is a lot more varied. Gay sex between two men is often viewed as dirty, giving gay men an unrealistic fear of enjoying intercourse with their lovers. Contrarily, many view lesbian sex as safer because of the lack of penile penetration. Either way, these activities can be just as safe and enjoyable for those who take the proper precautions.
For both straight and gay partners, the only real sense of security is routine testing and honest communication with your partners. Many people in the LGBTQ community never experience heterosexual intercourse, which may give them a false sense of security. People, no matter their sexual orientation, need to be aware that nobody is protected from STDs if they aren’t being careful.
By the traditional definition of sex, those individuals not engaging in heterosexual intercourse are virgins forever. However, a majority of the members in the community will not agree. These people are engaging in sexual activities too, and it is just as intimate and enjoyable as it is for heterosexual couples.
If people choose to remain virgins until marriage, whether due to religious or personal choices, more power to them. If people instead decide they want to engage in sexual activities with people they have healthy relationships with, that’s for them to decide as well. Sexual intercourse is a personal choice that shouldn’t involve anyone else as long as they’re receiving the proper knowledge. It brings children into the world. It’s beautiful and can be a fun bonding time for everyone, regardless of when the first encounter is.
Chantelle Baker is a 20-year-old communication studies senior from Waipahu, Hawaii.
