It’s safe to say hardly anyone uses their cell phone solely as a mobile telephone now.
With smartphones booming in popularity, these little gadgets give users access to the world at their fingertips.
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
Yes, I did just quote the most overused Spider-Man line ever.
But since kids these days have no sense of responsibility at all — many a time thanks to the parents out there who don’t give a damn — some people feel they need to step up and help regulate what children do with their smartphones.
That’s where Steve Jobs comes in.
Last month, it was released Ol’ Uncle Steve and Apple were approved for a patent to help regulate “text-based messages based on objectionable content.”
Or in other words — sexting.
Sexting has become quite a recurring phenomenon over the past few years — in most part, thanks to the advancement of technology.
Evolving from simple text messages and e-mails to picture messaging, video sending and, most recently, live video calling, people just can’t seem to keep it in their pants while on the phone.
Apple’s patent (filed in 2008) will supposedly help keep some of this under control.
“Systems, devices and methods are provided for enabling a user to control the content of text-based messages sent to or received from an administered device,” according to the patent.
Basically, instead of parents explaining to their kids that sending pictures of your boobs to the entire football team is a bad idea, Apple will just allow a parental setting on the iPhone.
How will this be done, you ask?
“In some embodiments, a message will be blocked (incoming or outgoing) if the message includes forbidden content. In other embodiments, the objectionable content is removed from the message prior to transmission or as part of the receiving process,” the patent also says.
While the iPhone’s “predictive text” function makes swearing in text messages difficult as hell (AKA “he’ll”), this parental control application will make it “ducking” impossible to send naughty words to your friends.
However, this restriction will be nothing but a speed bump to most teenagers.
The easiest workaround is to simply use that crazy “Phone” button that keeps getting in the way of the “Angry Birds” and “I Am T-Pain” apps.
The most hilarious workaround would be to come up with more unique ways to sext. Whenever you’re bored, Google sexual euphemisms — fantastic read right there.
Of course, since this is an optional parental control, many people — including the majority of college students — won’t have to deal with Apple’s latest attempt to control the way their device is used.
It’s still easy to cite the First Amendment and claim Apple is restricting freedom of speech.
However, that’s what I love so much about Apple products — you use them the way they want you to, or you don’t use them at all.
Much like their heavy censoring of applications for the app store, Jobs and crew are once again playing “Big Brother” to all those who purchase their iDevices.
Sure, my bias toward Apple may be showing, and I could easily be overreacting to a harmless, additional parental control option, but things always start small.
Today it may be filtering apps or text messages, but who says tomorrow it won’t be websites, phone numbers and entire contacts?
It’s ironic, though, considering FaceTime almost encourages a naughty night of video chatting.
Kids are smart — smarter than most of their parents when it comes to technology.
Patenting new features on a phone won’t cut down the amount of teenage boobs flying around in cyberspace.
But it should be parents’ job to make sure little Sally isn’t sending naughty words on her phone, not the manufacturer.
Adam Arinder is a 21-year-old communication studies senior from Baton Rouge. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_aarinder.
 
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Contact Adam Arinder at [email protected]