“My stupid mouth has got me in trouble.”
 
The lyrics of this John Mayer song, “My Stupid Mouth,” are all I can think about as I remember last week’s timid suggestions of column topics I pitched to my editor.
 
Last on a list of four, the bait seemed catchy, I guess. After all, sex is always a potentially controversial subject — interesting and exciting, to say the least.
 
And here the question starts — what are the differences in sexual culture between North and South America?
 
I’m sure the foggy taboo nature of the subject wouldn’t cause much trouble if I were writing for a Brazilian newspaper. I’d need much more than the words “sexual behavior” to attract readers’ interest.
 
What most likely caused my reflection was an 11-day stretch, which I spent in Rio de Janeiro for a music festival, in the middle of my five weeks in Brazil this summer after spending one year in the U.S.
 
I’m in trouble here because my digressions are based on subtle differences in perception, which in my opinion stretch the cultural shock between Latin America and North America.
 
I’m stepping on eggs here — I don’t want to reinforce the false notion that Latin cultures are more promiscuous than American and European societies in general. But a stroll on the other side might accentuate the subtlety of those differences.
 
Similar studies about sexual initiation among teenagers and young adults, both here and in Brazil, show that the age range always starts much earlier in Brazil. But to be honest, and for the despair of my editors, scientific studies won’t help me prove my point here, if there’s even a point to be proved.
 
Circumstances leading to sensual and sexual activities can vary from case to case, and classifying and quantifying them will not help us to understand why there’s so much shame and repression involving the matter.
 
In Brazil, talking about sex is much more common than here. A fun conversation among friends on the subject would hardly offend anyone. Also, it’s funny how some of the cleavage that is common in Brazil would cause huge traffic problems here, while some of the shorts I see girls wearing on campus would cause serious issues.
 
Cultural differences.
 
When you get to college in Brazil, it is likely that you already know a great deal about sex and how it goes, even if you are a virgin. Generally, in Brazil, college time will not be like the shocking liberation of the childhood taboos about sex you could never ask. There are no censor bars covering parts of babies in TV shows, and no one is going to take you to a psychotherapist if you are 6 years old and say the word “sex.”
 
However, the disparities can get more serious. I was never afraid of being sued by a girl for having sex with her or even insinuating
 
I wanted to do so, like I see here in many cases.
 
But then again, I might be realizing those differences just because I’m living in a conservative state. Call me an idiot, but like many other issues in America, I feel there are two extremes with not much in between.
 
Sex is either an untouched subject until you find out for yourself and join the choir of sexually unhappy people because of years of misinformation and repression, or it’s just a matter of performance and self-distraction — and you can do it almost wherever, whenever and with whoever you want.
 
And, especially during college, you shouldn’t let either of those extremes influence your decisions regarding sex, whether you’re going to do it or even just talk about it.
 
Marcelo Vieira is a 32-year-old jazz cello graduate student from Brazil. Follow him on twitter @TDR_Mvieira.
 
 
 
—-
Contact Marcelo Vieira at [email protected]