Gender and sex are two different things, but the parts your sex gives you do relate to your gender. Sex is a biological concept and gender is a physiological, psychological concept.

I am a woman, and I was born of a female sex. I am what is considered a cisgender person. A cisgender person is someone who identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth. There have been conversations between cisgender and transgender women on whether female-specific body parts or bodily functions can be used to define womanhood. My opinion as a cisgender woman is these attributes can be used when defining womanhood.

I understand that trans women are not a new concept, and they are just as woman as I am. I am also not under the guise that trans women don’t face struggles just like my own, if not more. But, I do believe that it would be a crime to ignore the biological aspects of my being when talking about my journey with womanhood, whether they can be shared with other women or not.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just as being a woman is based on self-identification. Who you feel you are is the essence of womanhood. Just as it is wrong to police trans women on what being a woman is, it is wrong to assume that just because a cisgender woman considers her biological factors what make her womanly, she hates trans women or think they are less-than.

The problem is the continuous fight to be right about womanhood. Womanhood is a story, and it’s different for everyone. Womanhood is its choices, or the lack thereof. Biological factors are not the defining characteristics of being a woman, but they still exist.

I couldn’t talk about being a woman without talking about how men have oversexualized my body since I was a young girl. I couldn’t talk about being a woman without mentioning the day I got my first training bra. I couldn’t talk about being a woman without mentioning my thyroid problems. I couldn’t talk about being a woman without talking about how I want to be a mother one day. The key word in those statements is “I.”

Those are only a few pieces that are a part of me being a woman and they shouldn’t be ignored just because another woman does not share them with me. Her story is her story. She is a woman, and so am I.

I am straight and cisgender, but I consider myself an ally and advocate for LGBTQ rights. There isn’t a set list of do’s and don’ts for being a woman, as long as you aren’t policing someone else’s definition of womanhood.

Olivia James is a 19-year-old mass communication freshman from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.