The 90-Day-Rule is a rule popularized by Steve Harvey, author of “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” The rule encourages women to make men they are dating wait 90 days before having sex. Many people thought this was ridiculous, especially men. Harvey compared this rule to the 90 days one must wait to receive benefits at a job. The rule does make sense, but it’s not respected.
In my generation, we often move quickly. Telling a guy he has to wait 90 days seems like forever to some. Most men don’t even like to wait past a week. As a woman, I get that men have certain “needs,” but women have needs as well. If we tell a man “no” or that we aren’t ready to be with them in that way, they will find another girl that will say “yes.” This has some women throwing their morals out the window just to keep the guy.
Women need to stay true to their morals and make it known that they don’t need a man that will not respect their beliefs. Our time is very valuable, and a man should be pleased enough by our presence.
I’m not saying you have to wait 90 days, because three months can seem like way too long when you’re talking to someone you’re interested in. However, we should make a man wait and get to know the person before we lay with them.
Many in my generation feel as though sex is just sex, but it’s way deeper than that. When you have sex with someone, you become connected to them and have a piece of that person. Your vibes connect, and if you sleep with a negative person, you could create a negative vibe for yourself. Do yourself a favor and research your partner before you waste a few minutes in bed.
Waiting to get to know someone before sex is great, but that isn’t going to change a man whose mindset is only set on increasing his “body count,” or the number of people he’s slept with. No matter how long you make that type of guy wait, he will do you wrong and leave. I’ve seen it happen. You can make a man wait a year and he could still cheat and leave.
Time keeps no one, and you never truly know someone until you are involved in serious and even crazy situations with them to see how they react. Actions really do speak louder than words.
Don’t think waiting is a waste of your time, because it isn’t. Whether the guy chooses to leave or not, you will be able to say that you had sex with him when you wanted to. Ladies, stay in control and remember you hold the power.
It isn’t a good feeling to feel used. A lot of men do not express feelings the way women do, which is why it’s less common for men to be upset after being left after sex. It’s also less common for women to even leave a man after sex.
Men leaving after sex has resulted in women acting like men instead of acting like ladies. My generation of women have put up an emotional wall, blocking feelings for men. We have started to play the man’s game.
We are playing them before they play us — sleeping with them and not expecting to hear from the man the next day. It’s sad that it’s been this way, but we are tired of going through the same things with guys. We believe that two can play the game. However, no one seems to realize that no one wins this game that ends in emotional disaster.
Ladies, hold true to your morals. Men, respect our beliefs and realize how valuable we are.
Te’Kayla Pittman is a 19-year-old mass communication freshman from Atlanta, Georgia.