Stars: 4/5
Out of all of the spooky season movies I love, none of them is as spellbinding as “The Love Witch.”
This is one of the prettiest movies I’ve ever seen, with a top-notch aesthetic. It looks like it’s straight from the ‘60s but actually came out in 2016. A horror comedy like no other, this movie showcases a witch who yearns for love and uses sex magic to get what she wants.  
“Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood” actress Samantha Robinson plays the gorgeous witch Elaine Parks who starts her new life after her ex-husband mysteriously dies. His death crushes her and she leans on a coven of witches and their leaders Gahan (played by Jared Sanford) and Barbara (played by Jennifer Ingrum) who eventually teach her magic. 
This movie has glitz, glamour and gore, with ‘60s hair and makeup looks that are divine. It definitely doesn’t have the strongest storyline, but the visuals are perfection. 
One of the prettiest sets is used in the Victorian tea room scenes, which is where the popular Tumblr pictures from the film are from. With everything breathtaking and all pretty in pink, it’s definitely used for some of my favorite scenes in the movie. 
Elaine dreams of finding her prince charming and believes she understands men. She believes men are easy to please if women give them what they want and become their fantasy. 
If you’re anything like me or Elaine’s friend Trish (played by Laura Waddell), you’d say it sounds like Elaine has “been brainwashed by the patriarchy.” This movie has an interesting satirical way of explaining the dynamic of women and men in today’s society, but the message is there. 
Elaine is so desperate to find love she becomes addicted to the idea of it and makes love potions to seduce men. 
Elaine describes being a witch as using your will to get what you want. She does just that by convincing men to do things they wouldn’t normally do under her magical trance.  
She believes men can’t handle their emotions and that a women’s great love and sex is too much for them, and hey I’m not going to be the one to say she’s wrong.  
Barbara and Gahan teach that a woman’s greatest power lies in her sexuality. They explain how female witches were burned because men were scared of how they were aroused by them. Then, women were bound by marriage and became servants and fantasy dolls to men, without ever being asked what they wanted. 
They say that men see women’s emotions as illnesses, so women need to teach men how to love in ways they understand. They teach their students to use perfume, wear makeup and high heels, show skin in the right places and to be a mother and a lover. They also tell them to stand their ground but let the man feel like a man.  
“Use sex magic to destroy his fear of you and he’ll finally see you as a human being” they say.  This may seem way over exaggerated, and sure it is, but the issues mentioned are not far off from the societal norms today. 
One of my favorite parts of the film is Elaine explaining why she broke up with someone, ironically explaining that “he became just like a woman crying at every little thing” then she went on to say, “but I should have known, he’s a Pisces.” There are little funny lines like this sprinkled throughout the film that makes it that much better. 
The men in Elaine’s life seemed rude and belittling, which may have led to her insane need to satisfy them. She explains that men only liked her when she used her body, so she found how to use that to her advantage with witchcraft.  
Eventually one of Elaine’s lovers dies and the police do a terrible job at investigating. Another one of my favorite scenes is the overacted mini fight in the police station between the sergeant and his partner. It looks like a stunt straight out of the 1966 Adam West “Batman” film and it’s hysterical. 
I’m a big fan of old Halloween movies with that corny, satirical, over exaggerated humor. It is believed by myself and other fans that the overacting in this film is deliberate, and I prefer just to continue to go with that because it makes the viewing experience better. 
There are a lot of other wild scenes in this movie like the weird Midsummer celebration her coven has. Throughout the film the viewer wonders if Elaine is insane, a woman just craving love or both, but either way she’s definitely deadly. 
This movie gets crazier as the story goes on with the storyline being unpredictable and honestly quite bizarre. Don’t be fooled by this cute cult classic, there is nudity, profanity and gruesome deaths included. It doesn’t have a rating, but if it did it would definitely be rated R. 
Between the major Lana Del Rey vibes and the absurd but funny relationships we see Elaine in throughout the film, “The Love Witch” draws you in from the very beginning.