Aziz Ansari created waves on social media when an anonymous woman accused him of sexual misconduct on Babe.net. “Grace” describes a night with Ansari that tests the modern definition of sexual assault.
She describes being uneasy when Ansari invited her inside his home. Her uneasiness continued but Ansari did nothing to create a comfortable ambiance. He desperately begged her to perform sexual acts, many of which she participated in. She attributed her participation to pressure she felt from Ansari.
Doubt is common when deciding to engage in sexual acts, but the problem became conspicuous when Ansari asked her to participate in sexual intercourse. She responded, “Next time.” Grace said she had already used non-verbal cues such as moving away from Ansari and controlling his hand placement. Ansari responded, “Well, if I poured you another glass of wine now, would it count as our second date?” By being so relentless in his pursuit, he revisited an endless nightmare she was hoping she dismissed. She replied to him, “I don’t want to feel forced because I would hate you and I don’t want to hate you.”
Ansari — trying to deescalate the situation — suggested they calm down by situating on the couch. She felt his response to the matter was sweet and the altercation was over. Minutes later, her contingency was proven wrong as Ansari bent her over and begged for her to participate in sexual intercourse.
“After he bent me over is when I stood up and said no, I don’t think I’m ready to do this, I really don’t think I’m going to do this,” Grace told Babe.net.
He pretended to be sympathetic. She tried to vacate his apartment, but he wouldn’t let her leave unless he called a cab for her. He continued his controlling complex. She left and he apologized over text.
The responses to this story are interesting, displaying a phenomenon known as the “telephone game.” The telephone game alludes to a message being muddled when told by many people. Critics say her story is petty and her lack of consent was ambiguous. An opinion columnist at the New York Times authored an article entitled “Aziz is Guilty. Of not Being a Mind Reader.” What is lost in this game is that Ansari did not have to be a mind reader. Grace verbally denied his permission twice, and gave numerous non-verbal signals for him to stop his pursuit of sexual intercourse.
There are two personalities regarding responses to this issue: those concerned with the law and those concerned with improving societal relationships between men and women. Ansari disregarded the comfort of his partner and sought a momentary approval that he assumed would emancipate him from sexual harassment. Unfortunately for Ansari, sexual coercion has been attempted before and is currently a form of legal sexual
harassment.
Given Ansari’s stature and the federal justice system’s compliance to ignore such matters, it is doubtful he will be in any legal trouble. The Brock Turner case could make any activist pessimistic about how the U.S. handles sexual misconduct. As far as societal relationships, Ansari’s behavior is not only normalized, it’s encouraged. In a survey by stopstreetharassment.org, 65 percent of women reported experiencing street harassment. This number is likely lower due to unreported sexual harassment cases. Men are considered brave flirts when they grope women. Hollywood advertises this through movies where men grope women, verbally harass them and even show sexts of them to a wide audience.
Ansari should be condemned for exploiting women for capital. Much of his comedic material is based on political satire. He often focuses on supporting feminism. His countless skits on women’s issues and his support for the #MeToo movement have garnered an audience that contributes to his multi-million-dollar earnings.
The victim’s susceptibility to criticism is why many victims stay silent or anonymous about these issues. In many cases, the public will perform a reverse trial on victims. In an Atlantic article, the author accused the victim’s plea of being “3,000 words of revenge porn.” Animosity towards a victim is a culture that must be eradicated. It prevents many women from speaking out about traumatic sexual encounters they have experienced.
It is important to note that Ansari’s actions are not on par with the actions of a Roy Moore, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey or Donald Trump. These men have multiple accusers with multiple corroborators. Overall, Ansari’s experience has opened helpful discourse in the public on what constitutes sexual harassment and how women should be treated. If there is anything to learn from Ansari, it is that when a woman says no, she means it, and should not be harassed into saying yes. Sexual coercion is immoral and illegal.
Soheil Saneei is a 19-year-old biological engineering freshman from Metairie, Louisiana.
