Some of our most wonderful childhood memories stem from the beautiful marriage of science and fantasy. Gadgets like Batman’s grapple-gun and Captain Kirk’s communicator all roused our imaginations, but they often upheld one common truth — they were based on authentic science, albeit far advanced in design.
However, most science is not as cool as batarangs or lightsabers. If I described how phosphofructokinase phosphorylates fructose-6-phosphate during glycolysis, you would want to slap me.
But if I told you Japanese scientists are going to bring the woolly mammoth back from extinction, your inner 6-year-old would vividly fabricate wild scenarios of prehistoric animals breaking out of high-voltage electric fences.
Yes, a team of Japanese scientists has already begun planning such a feat and expects to have a fully functioning mammoth in about five years.
Though my mind has been trained by almost three years of science courses to think methodically, I struggle to see the pure scientific value in reviving woolly mammoths. I do concede that studying the behavior of an animal that went extinct more than 10,000 years ago is a novel scientific endeavor.
However, I cannot shake the suspicion that these Japanese scientists, led by mad-scientist Akira Iritani, are only using scientific premises as a smokescreen.
Maybe resurrecting mammoths is simply more awesome than it is scientifically important. I can live with that.
I do not feel alone in my reasoning. In no reference to Iritani and his teams’ work can I seem to glean any major scientific ramifications from such an act, either.
Most periodicals appear to focus on constructing cheesy Jurassic Park jokes — something I definitely won’t do anymore.
Doubtlessly, the process of cloning the mammoth could also set the standard for bringing other extinct animals back to life. Who can predict how long it will be before we have a fully functional prehistoric zoo that even a maverick paleontologist would be proud of — sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
Of course, not everything is peachy. Although the freezing temperatures of the Arctic have left many well-preserved frozen mammoth corpses at our disposal, ice damages DNA. Therefore, there is no complete genetic map of the mammoth thus far.
Also, the cloning of the mammoth will involve a surrogate African elephant mother, which will endure a 600-day pregnancy and a 70 percent chance of spontaneous mammoth miscarriage.
Not to be outdone here in the United States, scientists recently used the power of genetics to create a larger variety of jalapeno peppers — so we can stuff more cheese into them.
Delicious.
Are we playing God by attempting to resurrect mammoths? Are we constructing our own Tower of Babel? Would this woolly mammoth have a soul?
While I cannot answer these questions without deeper introspection, the imminent feeling that these Japanese scientists are creating some sort of Franken-mammoth looms over me. The scientists’ method of shocking the mammoth embryo with electricity to initiate development doesn’t stave away this feeling.
Let’s hope this mammoth will do more to serve society than throw children into lakes and be frightened of fire.
I am sure most of my misgivings are only cautionary in nature. Otherwise, I fully endorse this new venture of extinct animal resurrection. It was always inevitable.
The idea has been around for decades, and the tools to create viable clones have been constantly developing. Now that these tools are sharp enough, it is time to cut away at science fiction until we are only left with science — pure, unadulterated, hairy-elephant science.
Perhaps dinosaurs are a little out of the question for now, but who would not want to see a saber-toothed tiger or 12-foot cave bear added to the collection?
My inner 6-year-old is ecstatic.
Chris Freyder is a 21-year-old biological sciences junior from New Orleans. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_Cfreyder.
 
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Contact Chris Freyder at [email protected]