What’s better than Walmart shoppers rioting for $2 waffle irons?
How about a Los Angeles-area woman pepper spraying other shoppers vying for the same product? Who does she think she is, a cop at UC Davis? Black Friday has progressively become more and more hilarious each and every year without fail. Personally, I think shopping on Black Friday is crazy. But for others, the post-turkey midnight bum rush has become a holiday tradition.
Black Friday, despite it’s hilarity, is an event I hope doesn’t make the news outside of America. Why? Because it shows just how greedy we can be.
In the third world, people riot for grain rations or clean water when they are in short supply. In America, we’ll pepper spray an 80-year-old woman right before we beat her to death with her own cane just so we can get that last plasma-screen TV at half price.
Black Friday is the epitome of American greed. It is why much of the world hates us (among other things).
The temptation of below-average prices seems to be too much for the majority of people. Is it worth macing other shoppers?
In the spirit of Black Friday, I thought it would be fun to point and laugh at some of the most ridiculous among us in hopes that, maybe one day, we’ll learn to be better behaved.
This year, in Myrtle Beach, S.C., a man and woman were attacked leaving a Walmart at 1 a.m. The woman was shot in the leg but survived. Another shooting occurred at a Walmart in San Leandro, Calif., where a woman was shot for her Black Friday goods. She’s alive and in stable condition.
Come on, people. Walmart apparently turns into South Central Los Angeles the day after Thanksgiving.
Perhaps the most heinous Black Friday violence occurred three years ago at a Walmart in New York.
In 2008, at a Walmart in Long Island, N.Y., a store employee was killed and a pregnant woman hospitalized thanks to Black Friday violence. The employee died after customers broke down the entrance door to the store and trampled him to death.
Yes, a person died. It wasn’t a selfish shopper, but rather a diligent employee just trying to keep the peace.
In the third world, people are killed in scuffles for the necessities — food, water and shelter. In America, people are killed Christmas shopping.
This is the season of giving, benevolence and selflessness. We don’t hear the Salvation Army jingling for change in the middle of July. This is the season of putting others before ourselves, the season of donating to charity and the season of not trampling old ladies for a memory foam mattress topper.
America is better than the violence we see on Black Friday, and we all know it. However, the violence makes the news, and that is what people see. More importantly, violence is what comes to mind now when people talk about Black Friday.
If this trend continues, we won’t be bragging about how we got the new “Twilight” DVD for $1, but rather how many teenage girls we had to elbow in the face to get the last one.
Hopefully, during the next few weeks Americans will be a tad bit more courteous than we were last Friday.
 
Parker Cramer is a 20-year-old political science junior from Houston. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_pcramer.
 
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Contact Parker Cramer at [email protected]