This column is dedicated to highlighting those times where professors show us they are real people. This being the inaugural issue, I have submitted two of my own. If you have similar stories, send them to [email protected] and we will publish the best stories we get.

One day my English professor announced that we were beginning a unit on poetry. The class collectively groaned. In response, he said, “Poetry is important. Poetry has a real tangible function: it will get you laid. I look around and well, guys, y’all are going to need all the help you can get. Ladies, you should learn it too so you can avoid these guys if they try to use