On Nov. 13, 1718, Englishman John Montagu was born. As the grandson of an earl, he would go on to take over earlship, become postmaster general, lord of admiralty and secretary of state. Little did he know his greatest achievement would shape the world forever.
I’m talking, of course, about the 4th Earl of Sandwich, the man who has claim to naming the sandwich itself.
During a 24-hour gambling binge, Earl Sandwich, the boss he was, requested his servants bring him lunch meat between two slices of bread so he could eat with one hand and gamble with the other, thus, a legend was born.
Today we celebrate National Sandwich Day, the most holy of gastronomical days, so here are the five best sandwiches that exist in my opinion.
Italian Hero
The Italians have given the world many wonders. They discovered America, The Sopranos, The Godfather and Amy Adams. However, none of that matters as much as the invention of the Italian Hero. In 1903, sandwich apostle Giovanni Amato invented the Italian sandwich using a variety of Italian cold cuts, including salami, pepperoni and capicola, along with american and provolone cheese. Add your choice of toppings like lettuce, tomatoes, olives, peppers and olive oil, and you’ve got a sandwich with an equilibrium in line with the universe that follows the Fibonacci sequence.
Shrimp Po Boy
I, Jay of house sandwich — first of his name — King of the cold cuts and the first cheeses, lord of loafs and protector of the condiments, hereby declare shrimp po boys to be the most significant cultural invention since Michael Jackson moonwalked with Neil Armstrong. The humble po boy’s beauty comes from its simplicity. Shrimp, lettuce, tomato, pickles and some mayo or hot sauce on french bread is all it takes to make one of the greatest sandwiches the world has ever consumed.
Ham and Cheese
I hear what you’re saying: “But Jay, ham and cheese is the pumpkin spice latte of sandwiches.” To which I say, “Get your blasphemous rhetoric away from this holiest of meat, bread and cheese.” Ham and cheese is like the Pope of sandwiches — it’s been around forever, it’s humble but strong and, if you treat it right, it will bless your soul. If you think I’m wrong, stop buying that weak Hillshire Farm excuse for ham. Go to a deli and treat yo self to real ham. Pro Tip: Give a ham and cheese sandwich to Metro Boomin, and he will trust you.
Thanksgiving Leftover/Gobbler
If you have never heard of the gobbler, I’m about to change your life forever. After Thanksgiving, what are you supposed to do with all the leftovers? Microwave them for dinner the day after like a savage? I’ll tell you what you do. Throw everything together between some bread like a Frankenstein’s monster of deliciousness. Turkey? Of course. Ham? Throw it on there. Stuffing? Harambe didn’t die for you to not put stuffing on a sandwich. Do you pour a little gravy on it? No, you drown in it like your sorrows after a failed test. Warning: Do not eat this in public unless you want to look like Jabba the Hut.
Muffuletta
A muffuletta is as New Orleans as hurricanes, bounce music and acceptable public nudity. The muffuletta gets its name from the round loaf it’s made with. Sitting on top of the bread like a king on his throne is mortadella, salami, ham, provolone and mozzarella cheese. But we don’t stop there. No, in typical New Orleans fashion the muffuletta goes the extra mile by adding olive salad. MOTHERF***ING OLIVE SALAD. Fun fact: DJ Jubilee’s name was originally DJ Muffuletta.
Jay Cranford is a 22-year-old finance senior from St. Simons Island, Georgia.