Post Mardi Gras exhaustion leads to rambling thoughts
   Well, welcome back kids. Hopefully we all returned in one piece from the little party New Orleans hosted this weekend.
Now, I know that everyone, myself included, is a bit weary right now thanks to all that good clean Mardi Gras fun we had down in N’awlins (or elsewhere) during this little break. Rather than boggling your minds (and mine) with one coherent column, consider this a page in this columnist’s idea notebook. (Think of it as five little columns for the price of one.)
Cameras to the left of me, jokers to the right: This year more than ever it seemed like everywhere you turned at Mardi Gras, some guy with a digital or video camera wanted to take your picture for the latest installment of “Girls Gone Wild.” Guys must think this is some sort of honor or a great pick-up line. Here’s an example of one such conversation I participated in:
Random man on street: Hey girl! Why don’t you flash me?
Christina: Um, because you’re pointing a video camera at me.
RMOS: So? What if I turn it off? Come on, I’m not from here! I need to see some Mardi Gras action!
Christina: Really … I couldn’t tell.
REAL COLLEGE GIRLS IN ACTION: A guy friend of mine was trying to figure out why “Girls Gone Wild” is so popular, but no one ever made a “Guys Gone Wild.” His theory — it’s not a big deal for guys to show off their family jewels. They want to do this and therefor women know they don’t have to pay for a video to see it.
My theory — a “Guys Gone Wild” video would be really inexpensive to make, because you could just film random guys in their everyday activities. You see, saying that the guys have “gone wild” assumes that they aren’t actually wild on a regular basis.
As a woman, I’d pay to see “Guys Gone Civilized.” This video could feature such ground-breaking amateur action as guys admitting that they’re lost, guys looking women in the eyes (instead of the chest) when they talk, guys putting down the toilet seat and — gasp — guys being monogamous an liking it.
If anyone wants to be my business partner for this venture, drop me an e-mail. It’s probably going to take a few years to get enough footage for an hour-long video, so we need to get started.
Happy V-Day, or not: My mom tells me that bitterness isn’t attractive, so this Valentine’s Day, I promise to smile (a little). Anyway, you, gentle reader, can help me out in this quest by not being cutesy and mushy on campus today.
No public displays of affection, no balloons, no flowers. And if anyone gives me one of those stupid candy hearts, I might scream.
It isn’t that I’m not happy for all of those disgustingly cute couples who are at this very moment either making out or fighting over “who wuvs who more.” Sure, I’m maybe even a little jealous them and their delirious happiness.
But an entire day devoted to this concept?
And don’t get me started on that obnoxious half-naked flying elf guy.
At least they didn’t club their knees: Canadians are outraged that their figure skating pair Jamie Sale and David Pelletier lost the gold medal in the Olympics to the Russians, even after a mistake in the Russian program. Allegations that one judge and another judge forged some deal whereby the Canadians lost in figure skating have soiled a sport that probably doesn’t need anymore soiling. (Remember Tonya Harding?)
The International Skating Union announced Tuesday that it will investigate claims that the pairs skating and the ice dancing competitions had predetermined outcomes. Simply put, the judging for this competition was about as legal and ethical as Arthur Anderson’s audition practices for Enron.
What big eyes you have: Greta Van Susteren, the former CNN legal analyst who recently jumped to Fox News, has been the talk of the town since she had an eyelift and makeover. CNN recently produced a promo for anchor Paula Zahn that called her “sexy.” This blatantly sexist attitude about female journalists is disappointing.
True, networks are money-making tools for their owners, but these network executives should focus on their staff’s intelligence and not their looks. How disheartening that in this day in age, intelligent, hard-working women are looked at for their sex appeal and not their minds.
Some may not think this is sexist, but when is the last time NBC Nightly News promoted Tom Brokaw as sexy? Would anyone care if he got a nose job? Probably not.
Christina Stephens