For LSU football fans, losing a game is the most gut-wrenching experience that can happen — it ranks somewhere between failing a midterm and accidentally stapling your testicles together.
With Ole Miss next on the 2002 schedule, students will look back on last year’s game and remember the embarrassing 35-24 loss that nearly ended LSU’s dream season. If there’s one good thing people can take from that game, it’s that this year’s team can exact revenge on those pesky Rebels and use the win as motivation to finish the year strong.
Fans must do their part too. When preparing for this or any “revenge” game, it’s best to follow a strict hour-by-hour gameday regiment to ensure your team doesn’t lose focus and lay an egg two years in a row.
7:30 a.m. — Get up! Forget sleeping late or watching other college football games, you’ve got work to do. Sing the fight song and alma mater while taking your shower. Hum Tiger Rag while getting dressed.
8:30 a.m. — Paint your face, chest or other body parts if you’re into that sort of thing. Write down and memorize all the derisive chants you plan on yelling while tailgating.
9:30 a.m. — Leave the house. Don’t forget the essentials — TV, VCR, generator, LSU blanket, tiger claws, etc. You can never have too many accessories when it comes to cheering for the Tigers.
10:30 a.m. — Get to your favorite tailgate spot early and badger anyone in blue and red. Trust me, they like it when you yell “Tiger bait! Tiger bait!”
11:30 a.m. — Put all the stuff you brought to good use. Watch old tapes of Billy Cannon’s 89-yard touchdown that beat Ole Miss in 1959 on Halloween night. The run, which has become a classic in LSU football lore, will remind you why it feels good to run all over the team still stuck in the Civil War.
12:30 p.m. — Cut out and assemble the Eli Manning voodoo doll in today’s paper (see above) and hang it on your car door or some other convenient place. Keep a box of push pins handy so people can stick them in as they pass by.
1:30 p.m. — Walk around campus for some midday nourishment from random tailgaters. Make sure you’re wearing your “Eli sucks” T-shirt and your official greeting to strangers is “Go to hell Ole Miss!”
2:30 p.m. — Find some long-time LSU fans that remember watching games in the late 1960s and reminisce about beating Ole Miss 61-17 in 1970, Archie Manning’s final year there.
3:30 p.m. — Head back to the tent and pop in the tape of last year’s game. It’s pretty terrible to watch, but how else are you going to remember how bad it felt to lose? Focus!
4:30 p.m. — Break out the list of derogatory comments you jotted down earlier. These will come in handy when the visiting team’s bus drives by the stadium.
5:30 p.m. — Check out the Golden Band from Tigerland doing its thing near the Greek Theater. The soothing sounds of the percussion warm-ups will have you pumped for pregame and make the band from Oxford sound like a played-out boy band.
6:30 p.m. — Make your way into Tiger Stadium. Watch out for security guards trying to feel you up in the ticket line and be sure to get a front row seat so you can view the Eli-bashing up close and personal.
7:30 p.m. — Sit back and enjoy the game, which should be a good one because LSU needs to win if it’s to win the SEC West and roll into Atlanta again. At 5-5, Ole Miss is desperate for a victory and likely will pull out all the stops against the Tigers. As the two teams battle for bragging rights, don’t forget to taunt Rebel fans, hope the voodoo works and remember revenge is a dish best served cold.