The Catholic Church embraces marriage as a sacred union between two people who love each other and commit to stay together under the best and worst of conditions.
However, this bond only is recognized when a couple is of opposite sexes, leaving gay and lesbian Catholics in the dark and somewhat ostracized from the rest of the community when they want to marry their same sex partners.
A forum held Friday at the Catholic Life Center gave gay and lesbian members the chance to address this issue, as well as others concerning their faith and sexual orientation.
DBR Hope, a ministry of the Diocese of Baton Rouge with gay persons, their parents and families, hosted the forum.
One audience member, who wished to remain anonymous because coworkers do not know she is gay, expressed her concerns about being Catholic and living an opposing lifestyle.
“It doesn’t seem we can have the fullest expression of who we are and still remain in good standings with the Church,” she said. “How do we resolve that separation?”
The Rev. Simeon Gallagher from St. Louis, Mo., said the key to resolving the separation is developing an interior spiritual life.
“We say, ‘What is God asking of me, and how do I live a rich and full life with God’s plan for me,'” Gallagher said. “Regardless of where our life is taking us, whether it’s our occupation or our orientation, spirituality needs to be at the root of that.”
Gallagher said Jesus is the bridge connecting all people and subcultures, and the church should work to do the same.
“Sometimes we construct not bridges but barriers based on race, ethnicities, sex or religion,” he said. “All people are to be treated with respect and dignity, and this is the Catholic Church’s policy on gay and lesbian people.”
Gallagher said gay and lesbian Catholics are challenged to non-genital relationships because the Church teaches sexual intercourse is something to be shared between married couples for procreation and love.
In a Catholic Update newsletter from 1999, Richard Sparks said, “the Church calls all homosexual persons, like their single heterosexual counterparts, to be chaste, that is, sexually appropriate for their uncommitted, unmarried state in life.”
The article said the Church acknowledges this may be a difficult challenge because gay and lesbians cannot anticipate “marriage-to-come” because a marriage between same sex couples is not recognized as a sacramental union.
Cami Miller, a life coach and member of DBR Hope’s core team, said the Church’s expectations for gay and lesbian members to be celibate is somewhat limiting, and she does not see the Church changing its viewpoint.
“Right now the Church is conservative,” Miller said. “My goal is to balance my sexuality and relationship with God. This is the way God made me.”
She said DBR Hope offers monthly support groups at Saint George for gay and lesbians, their parents, siblings and friends.
Miller said the group discusses possible reactions of family members and friends when a person comes out and what to expect.
She said some members leave the Church because of the strict guidelines and restrictions to a gay or lesbian lifestyle, but many stay and work with others who experience the same feelings.
“It’s frustrating to be in the middle, but there are other groups who are marginalized, like divorced Catholics who can’t get an annulment,” Miller said. “It’s a matter of exploring their own conscious to live Catholic and gay.”