I finally experienced this weekend the fear of all parents who have college-aged children who travel on the road often: I had car troubles on the highway. Granted, it was daytime and I was with another girl, so, it wasn’t a big deal, it still was a little scary and I still was left a little helpless, seeing as I don’t know much about cars.
Luckily, my car troubles ended up being minor. Thanks to a handful of people and their kindness, my friend and I encountered on our “adventure” that made our day fun, rather than a scary and stressful event.
It may seem trivial to devote an entire column to the idea of kindness, courtesy and manners, but unfortunately today these things are becoming more and more obscure. Public Agenda, a non-profit, non-partisan organization which surveys public opinion, reported 60 percent of Americans said the problem of decreasing kindness and courtesy in this country is only getting worse.
Even after the rekindling of kindness after the Sept. 11 tragedy, overall, Americans are getting ruder. But why? The reasons are as varied and unclear as the problem itself. The survey reported an overwhelming 84 percent of Americans feel it’s because parents have failed to rear their children and teach proper respect and manners, whereas more than half of people surveyed blamed the decline of moral and religious values.
Chuck Gallozzi, author of numerous personal-development articles and one of the main writers on personal-development.com, tells a story many people can relate to in one of his most recent articles. It’s how when driving in heavy traffic, people often become increasingly frustrated if moving into the next lane seems impossible. But when a fellow driver notices your efforts and waves you in, the feeling of gratefulness inspires you to pay the same respect to another driver, and that driver to another and so on.
You might not be able to change the whole world, but you can change yourself and the world around you. And if everyone else just worked on the little things — the little courtesies everyone seems to have forgotten these days — then the world would be a better place.
I know it sounds foolhardy, and maybe it’s just because I’m young and don’t have the weight of the world on me yet. But I do know you don’t have to feed the homeless in New York City, you don’t have to clothe the feeble in Africa, you don’t have stop the wars or save the whales. But you can change the little bit of the world around you.
Imagine what would happen if everyone at one day or another decided they wouldn’t think of themselves: they would smile at every human they met, open every door, listen to everyone’s thoughts, fears and joys — let the driver in who’s trying to change lanes. Imagine how great the world would be one day.
If you think it is not your place to help anyone or change anything, then you’re wrong. You breathe the same air we all do, and you eat food grown in the same earth we all do, it’s your duty to be kind, courteous and respectful of everyone and everything.
And it only takes the littlest of effort to do it, too. One of my favorite quotes is from an anonymous 14-year-old who said “I’ve learned that when someone is looking sad, or say something bad happened, never say, ‘What’s the matter?’ or ‘What’s wrong?’ Always say, ‘Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you.'”
Well, if you think I’m silly, corny or just plain wrong for feeling and thinking this way, then all I have to say to you is “Do you want to talk about it? Because I’m here for you.”