After all the stress of cramming for exams and the relief of knowing another semester is over, know somewhere this summer, there is a cold movie theater waiting.
This summer’s movie lineup can be described in one word: sequels. Included is a listing of some of the summer’s biggest predicted weight-movers. Although they should all make decent money, some need to be avoided like the plague.
The Sequels
The Matrix Reloaded
Release Date: May 15
The Lowdown: One of the most hotly anticipated movies of the year, “The Matrix Reloaded” continues to answer the question: “What is the Matrix?” More commonly known as “The Matrix 2,” Keanu Reeves and the star-studded cast of “The Matrix” return for the second installment of the Wachowski brother’s story. After The Matrix intrigued us all in 1999, this installment is said to end with a cliffhanger, setting up a grand finale in the final installment, “The Matrix Revolutions,” to be released in November 2003.
Pre-Review: Should be a sure thing, the hype for the movie is even greater because the plot is shrouded in secrecy. Although it will definately be a box-office smash, “The Matrix” created a high standard for “Reloaded” to top.
2 Fast 2 Furious:
Release Date: June 6
The Lowdown: “Fast and the Furious'” Brian O’Connor (played by Paul Walker), teams up with Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) to bring down a Miami crime ring, races some cars and blows up some stuff in the process.
Pre-Review: Wow. Although its title makes no sense and “2 Fast 2 Furious” is missing “The Fast and the Furious'” star, Vin Diesel, the plot does look like a classic testosterone-infused film. Save your money.
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
Release Date: June 13
The Lowdown: Not exactly a sequel, but a prequel to 1994’s hilarious “Dumb and Dumber,” explores how Harry (Eric Christian Olsen) and Lloyd (Derek Richardson) survived special-ed in high school. Actors look hauntingly like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, the original stars of “Dumb and Dumber.”
Pre-Review: This prequel could either be hilariously funny or a waste of cash. I’m leaning toward the latter as early reviews have called it “utterly pointless.”
Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
Release Date: June 27
The Lowdown: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu return to reprise their rolls as the hip-hugging, butt-kicking angels.
Pre-Review: The first “Charlie’s Angels,” inspired by the popular 1970s television series, debuted in 2000. Despite the absence of Bill Murray, who passed on the opportunity to co-star in the sequel, look for this one to be just as hot as the monster success of 2000’s “Charlie’s Angels.”
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
Release Date: July 2
The Lowdown: Reese Witherspoon reprises her role as Elle Woods, now a rising young lawyer who is soon to be married. When she is fired from her job for sticking up for her Chihuahua, she goes to Washington, D.C. and takes matters into her own hands. Elle uses her superhuman blonde-ness to make it in politics and prove once again to never underestimate a blonde.
Pre-Review: Another July 4 weekend movie, chalk this one up as a miss with the critics, but it will probably make a lot of money.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Release Date: July 2
The Lowdown: The Terminators are back, and John Conner (Nick Stahl) has been avoiding Skynet, a coalition of machines who have been trying to kill him, for the 10 years since “Terminator 2.” At 22 years old, another Terminator is trying to kill him and consequently wage war on humanity. Now, he must cooperate with his former assassin, the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger), to destroy the beautiful and deadly T-X (Kristanna Loken) or face the end of humanity.
Pre-Review: Yes, Arnold is back. Hard to believe he’s into his 50s and can still play the Terminator. Assuming this is the last of the “Terminator” franchise, it surely will be a blockbuster. This one will be a sure thing for the July 4 movie rush, especially with the villain being played by model Kristanna Loken.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Release Date: July 25
The Lowdown: Angelina Jolie reprises her successful role as Lara Croft in the second “Tomb Raider” movie, “The Cradle of Life.” In this adventure, Jolie’s video game-adapted character travels across the world in search of Pandora’s Box, which is said to have the power to unleash mayhem onto the earth.
Pre-Review: This movie has more titles that any video-game guru looking at Angelina Jolie in her Tomb Raider outfit will care about, but that is what Angelina Jolie is shooting for in her new movie “The Cradle of Life.” Most likely a box-office juggernaut but the plot doesn’t seem nearly as catchy as the last “Tomb Raider.” This classic summer action-flick will keep the video-game junkie in your life full of good dreams until the next “Tomb Raider” comes out.
The Non-Sequels
Bruce Almighty
Release Date: May 23
The Lowdown: Jim Carrey stars as Bruce Nolan, a television reporter with a seemingly great life and a beautiful girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). However, Bruce is miserable, and when he ridicules God for the worst day of his life, God (Morgan Freeman) appears in physical form and endows Bruce with all of His powers.
Pre-Review: This has the potential to be hilarious, but like many Jim Carrey movies, it will be either hit or miss, nowhere in between. Religion can be a touchy subject, especially with God taking on physical form.
Hollywood Homicide
Release Date: June 13
The Lowdown: Harrison Ford and Josh Harnett are two LAPD Homicide detectives investigating the possibility of a top record label orchestrating the onstage murder of a rap group.
Pre-Review: Old cop (Ford) teaches young cop (Harnett) the ups and downs of detective work. Doesn’t sound incredibly thrilling but promises comic relief that Ford might be getting a little too old for.
The Hulk
Release Date: June 20
The Lowdown: Like “X-Men” and “Spider-Man,” the next movie in an addition to the Marvel Comic invasion. Eric Bana is Bruce Banner, a scientist who, after being exposed to gamma rays, turns into a big, green, Incredible Hulk whenever he gets angry.
Pre-Review: Like the Marvel Comic films before it, “The Hulk” should be a sure thing. When the green Incredible Hulk does appear, he is a computer-generated Shrek-like character, which makes one wonder about the acting. Although a computer-generated protagonist could be a recipe for disaster, “The Hulk” might be this summer’s action hit.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of Black Pearl
Release Date: July 9
The Lowdown: Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is led on an adventure across the high seas when Sparrow’s arch nemesis Captain Barbossa, (Geoffrey Rush), hijacks his ship. Unbeknownst to Sparrow, Barbossa and his crew have been placed under an undying curse, causing them to turn to skeletons each night until they return a plundered treasure.
Pre-Review: The computer animation and graphics should be the only entertaining element in “Pirates of the Caribbean.” And honestly, who doesn’t love the ride at Disney World?
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Release Date: July 11
The Lowdown: Ex-James Bond Sean Connery leads the cast of 19th century superheroes sworn to defend the British Empire from, well, everything.
Pre-Review: Basically X-Men 200 years ago, includes superheroes such as Dracula’s girlfriend, Dr. Jekyll and Tom Sawyer. As a movie under the radar right now, “The League” could be this summer’s sleeper hit or this summer’s biggest flop.
Beware the summer movie season, it’s a time when blockbusters like “The Matrix” and “Independence Day” are made, but tread lightly — for every critically acclaimed movie there’s bound to be a second rate, one-joke movie just waiting to take viewers money; enjoy.