I am sitting here looking at a picture of Steve Danos, suspected “serial snuggler,” comparing his looks to mine and thinking, “Wow, he could probably strike up a convo with a girl easier than I could (refer to my columnist sketch).”
That’s sad and unfair, but I’ll live.
Yep, Ol’ Steve-o is the man suspected of gaining entry to several LSU area apartments and standing over the beds of sleeping women.
One woman even claimed he climbed in bed with her and stroked her back.
Doesn’t he know you never stay and cuddle after a one night stand … get it -stand.
I don’t mean to make light of the issue.
I am sure it is a very horrible thing to awake and find a stranger in your bedroom.
It has happened to me a few times, but only after nights spent in a drunken stuper.
However, penny pitchers are not the culprates in this case.
Authorities claim that the suspect, “The Stevester,” entered eight unlocked apartments between the hours of 7 a.m. and 11 a.m. Sunday, Sept. 21 at the University House Apartments on Brightside Drive.
Yeah, unlocked apartments … kudos to our victims.
As “The Advocate” reported, this is not Steve-dog’s first brush with the law.
He was arrested in March for the same type of intruding, and once in 1998 by LSU police at the Union for sticking two text books in his pants.
What a sick man – innocent little textbooks scarred for life.
WAFB reported that Super Steve was caught by a University House security guard early Wednesday morning peeking in windows, but he got away.
And they get mad when we call them “rent-a-cops.”
It is a shame that people like “The Stevemeister” exist, but let’s check back in with reality for a moment.
People like Steve Danos will always exist, that’s why God gave us a useful little device called a dead-bolt.
“What’s a dead-bolt? Is that the thing on Frankenstein’s neck?”
Yeah. It’s also that round metal thingy with the the key hole in it, located right above the bigger round metal thing with the roundy turny thingy that you use to open the door.
“Oh, that thing.”
Now, stay with me-this could be a little confusing.
When you get home close the door and lock the frickin’ dead-bolt!
I hate to place the blame on the victims (and I am not at all saying that they were asking for it) but come on … they were asking for it.
Have we become this complacent after just a few months since the apprehension of our last serial stalker?
And might I add Derek Todd Lee has only been indicted for the murders, not convicted.
We’ll never be sure if it was really him. There is a lot of unsolved murders in this city – we can’t blame them all on Lee.
True, if someone wants to get into your home, they probably can, but let’s not make it any easier for them.
Authorities say that suspect “Pimp Steve” usually leaves when asked, he has not shown any intention of harming anyone. At this time, he has not been apprehended.
So please, grease up those dead-bolts and start using them.
Protect yourself. You can not count on others, i.e. “rent-a-cops,” to protect you as well as you deserve.
It is a sick world filled with sick people – lock your doors.
Oh yeah, and the sketch of me in this paper…it does me no justice at all.
In real life, I look strikingly more like Tom Cruise.