Gary Coleman could be the next governor of California.
The above statement is all I need to say to describe the ridiculousness of the California recall.
It’s like a mix between “Survivor” and “The Amazing Race.”
It’s “Celebrity Death Match” crossed with “Cross Fire.”
It’s sick and disgusting, and I’m loving every minute of it.
Finally, some reality TV I can dig.
Who cares that democracy takes a back seat to entertainment?
After all, it’s only California.
The cast … I mean list of candidates, sounds like a bad night at “Hollywood Squares.”
The question is, who will be in the center square?
Will it be GOP favorite and “T3” star Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Maybe famed pornographer Larry Flynt will be the one in the hot seat.
Adult movie star Mary Carey and comedian Gallagher are also in the running.
(Side note: Carey is famous for her enormous melons, and Gallagher is most notably reconized for smashing melons with a sledgehammer.)
“Different Strokes” star and my personal favorite, Gary Coleman, also has entered his name as one of 135 candidates.
Yeah, there are some other real politicians in the running such as California Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, state Sen. Tom McClintock and other boring suits.
And of course there’s Gray Davis, current governor of the great over-taxed state of California, fighting to keep his
now jeopardized office.
But unless he hits big on the “Daily Double,” I fear this will be his “Final Jeopardy.”
Let’s face it.
People want to see him bite the dust.
Americans crave tragedies, and this one is a classic.
Man ascends to the highest position, man blamed for failing economy, man brought down by society.
It’s textbook tragedy.
Ironically, he is brought down within the guidelines of the law he at the time governed.
It’s brilliant!
I smell a mini-series.
Davis, along with fellow Democrats, blames the recall on a “right-wing power grab.”
Thank you Captain Obvious.
Personally, I was hoping for a coup d’etat.
Something along the lines of The Terminator riding through the streets of Sacramento wrecking shop on all the liberals he could detect using his super smart eye computer thingy.
Maybe even Davis actually being a “T200” or something.
I don’t know, I’m not an elections commissioner, but surely they could come up with something a little more exciting than a recall.
Anywho, “Ahhh-nald” might not have to terminate anyone to grab the top seat, as a poll put out Wednesday by KABC in Los Angeles suggests that out of the voters polled, 45 percent of them would vote for the GOP commando, while only 29 percent for leading Democrat Bustamante.
Who would have thought that name recognition and lots
of money would give a candidate an edge over other seemingly more qualified individuals.
That’s a first!
The recall election will be held Oct. 7.
The ballot will have two parts: a “yes, no” vote on the recall of Gov. Gray “Oedipus Rex” Davis, and a vote out of 130 plus candidates to choose from on who should replace Davis should the recall pass.
Some producers are calling this a “tribal council” in which Davis could be voted off the “island” and asked to extinguish his torch.
Coincidentally, Oct. 7 is also the same day the Game Show Network plans to announce the winner of its show “Who Wants To Be The Next Governor Of California” to be aired Oct. 1.
Coleman and Carey have signed on as contestants, and both will outline their respective platforms on the program.
There is, however, some debate whether or not Coleman will be outlining his platform or standing on it.
(That was cheap and cheesy, I know, but I couldn’t resist. I’m sorry.)
The winner of the show will receive a $21,200 “campaign contribution” from GSN … I love America!
However, as amusing and interesting as this event is, let’s all hope it’s not the new trend.
The last thing we need is for America to start recalling all of her public servants and replacing a (sometimes) honorable election system with a circus of headline-hungry candidates with bad agents.
The moment we begin to feel as though this nation’s elections are arbitrary, and not as a means to pursue the betterment of life, is the moment this great nation will cease to be great.
Please, question your government and its policies, but do not abandon them.
Respect your nation’s leaders, but expect and demand more from them than just the very best.
And if nothing else, VOTE!
Improvement never follows silence.