There must be an undeclared race in Hollywood to see who can make the most money off of a lame, ridiculous idea. Perhaps a group of producers gather around a table late on Friday nights, sipping cognac, conjuring preposterous plots and betting whether or not money could be made from them.
If this is true, last weekend’s box office figures prove these producers to be geniuses. Last weekend, “Kangaroo Jack” embedded itself at the top of the box office. Martin Lawrence’s “National Security” claimed the No. 2 position. Rounding out the top three was “Just Married,” starring “Dude, Where’s My Car?” superstar Aston Kutcher.
Hollywood darling Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer of cinematic masterpieces such as “Armageddon” and “Coyote Ugly,” has managed to again do what he does best: spend millions on a dumb movie plenty of Americans are willing to waste their money on. The plot summary posted on the Internet Move Database (www.imdb.com) for “Kangaroo Jack” is as follows: “Two childhood friends, a New York hairstylist and a would-be musician, get caught up with the mob and are forced to deliver $100,000 to Australia, but things go haywire when the money is lost to a wild kangaroo.”
Uh-huh.
Why is this in a theater again?
People pay money to see this?
Great films are currently flooding the market. Why, then, is “Kangaroo Jack” No. 1? It is not because it was the only new movie out last week. The American audience patronizes far too many films that take its collective voice and intellect for granted. The films are instant, thoughtless gratification.
And though one point of film is to entertain, is it too much to ask that they also be intriguing? Must we sit through films that condescend and treat us as brainless and simplistic?
Let’s take “Armageddon” for example. While there may be worse films (“Killer Klowns From Outer Space,” “Jason X”) “Armageddon” had an insane budget. According to Entertainment Insiders (http://einsiders.com), “Armageddon” cost $140 million to make, and reaped in over $554 million at the box office. This makes it one of the top 20 biggest moneymakers ever. The figure also says volumes about what we expect out of the entertainment industry in this country.
Movies such as these will continue to be made until the audience demands something higher in quality. Apparently there is no reason to make good films in Hollywood if no one cares enough to see them. Money is the name of the game, and because we are willing to shell out $7 to see idiocy personified, Hollywood is more than willing to produce more of what works financially. One will receive trash unless one refuses it.
So next time you feel the urge to go to the movies, think twice about your decision. It affects the sort of movies you’ll be seeing in the future. If you adore movies such as “Kangaroo Jack,” try something new. “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” George Clooney’s directorial debut, is playing at Citiplace and Tinseltown theaters. Enjoy a piece of art and, in the long run, a much more satisfying film experience.