What happened to “Hello, how are you?”
Working in my first food service job thus far has been absolutely amazing for a host of reasons, but one in particular is that it has reminded me that we should always be actively choosing kindness, especially as it seems the world is getting crueler by the day.
This isn’t a difficult ideal to practice. Everyone carries plenty of baggage, and we are not always in the right place to choose kindness first.
Maybe your dog died, or your daughter just passed away. Perhaps you just came from a particularly disappointing doctor’s appointment. Maybe you just worked a double and your replacement never showed up. You could have just failed an exam or have three in the next two days.
You never know what is going on in someone’s life, what they’re struggling with or how they may be suffering. Moreover, you may never know what is going on in your barista or server’s life either.
The point is that everyone is struggling with one thing or another at any given time, and it’s unrealistic to expect kindness to be a reflex or a natural response. Kindness, however, should be an everyday choice, an aspiration sought out even when it is inconvenient or burdensome.
If kindness were a reflex, something that occurred automatically and without thought, there wouldn’t be meaning behind it. Much like passing someone you know in the grocery store and asking them how they’re doing, it would be particularly devoid of thought or intention. It would also be uncomfortable.
The truth is that intention is what makes kindness and human decency worthwhile.
In service jobs, the easy choices are the following: to greet someone emptily — and they will know, anyway — or to just take their order without acknowledging them. These are the reflexive responses, those we entertain particularly when we are lazy or downtrodden or even occasionally selfish.
This is often the answer to the question, “What happened to ‘Hello, how are you?’” More often than not, nothing deliberately rude or insensitive is happening. People are just people.
But what also makes humanity special is the capacity for love and unselfishness even when it is difficult for us, the chief hallmark of this gift being the ability to intentionally choose kindness. Sometimes we need someone to check in on us with genuine concern and a loving disposition, even if we do not know that person.
A little bit of human decency goes a long way, and kindness is what makes the world go ‘round at the end of the day. So I implore you to wake up every day and make that choice — we could all use it right now.
Riley Sanders is a 19-year-old biology major from Denham Springs, La.
