Craigslist has been a national institution for almost 15 years now. You can find everything from iguanas up for adoption and furniture for sale to setting up “casual encounters” of a sexual nature.
Last week, a local Chicago man posted his “advice” to the single women in his city in the always-awkward “Missed Connections” section of Craigslist. This wasn’t something helpful like legal advice or stock market tips — it was something much worse.
It begins, “Fall is now upon us, bringing aspects that make it among my favorite times of the year: when you ladies break out the sexy boots, don stylish flared skirts with leggings, and wrap yourself in lush wool or cashmere sweaters that coyly accentuate your bosom.”
Excuse me, I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. But it doesn’t get better.
“I’m dying to stop you on the street and pay you the occasional compliment … But I can’t — because you’re always walking around with your damn earbuds in … and your sunglasses on, even when they’re not necessary (which incidentally doesn’t make you look cool or sexy, only unapproachable).”
He even goes on to admit that his advice is “unsolicited,” even though his level of self-awareness apparently stops there.
After concluding his advice, he gives us a glorious postscript that reads, “P.S.: Oh, and by the way, it’d be nice if your default expression was a smile — or, at worst, a merely neutral expression — instead of a scowl that says, ‘I’ll cut you off at the knees if you try to talk to me.’ C’mon, is life really that bad? Just sayin’. ”
So what this human fedora clearly doesn’t understand is that a huge majority of women do these things — put in headphones and eye contact-blocking sunglasses — to avoid strange men talking to them on the street, which is exactly what he wants to do. I, for one, desperately attempt to look “unapproachable” because of guys like this.
While it might be easy for some to ignore this and call it harmless trolling, this guy’s so-called advice is nothing but misogynistic. It’s not well-meaning, and it’s anything but harmless.
His “advice” is based on the idea that women are nothing but objects. He thinks the women of Chicago are Barbies: The Autumn Edition, who will wear “sexy boots” and cashmere sweaters while accepting his unwanted compliments and glares.
Street harassment, whether it be catcalling or just downright-creepy moments of eye contact, is a very real, very scary thing affects women in ways that this guy and many other men will never understand.
And it’s certainly not a coincidence that this man is trying to get women to stop wearing earbuds, sunglasses and a perpetual bitch face. These are all defense mechanisms that women as a whole have adopted to avoid guys like this — men who say they only want to compliment us. But what happens when these women ignore or turn down these advances?
Earlier this month, a woman in Queens, New York, refused to speak to a man on the street in the early hours of the morning and ended up with her throat slashed. A few days after that, a Detroit woman was fatally shot because she refused to give a man her phone number after telling him she was engaged.
I don’t know if the author of the Craigslist posting — or anyone who shares a similar mindset — realizes this is a form of terrorism against women. My fellow women and I shouldn’t have to fulfill these checklists of how we have to act or dress if we don’t want to be hit on, or worse.
SidneyRose Reynen is a 19-year-old film and media arts and art history sophomore from New Orleans. You can reach her on Twitter @sidneyrose_TDR.