BATON ROUGE- A day off from school means a night out to the bar for many LSU students, even if that night is filled with freezing temperatures and dangerously icy roads. On Tuesday evening, a small, albeit lively, crowd of students made their way to famed LSU watering holes like Mike’s and Fred’s. Despite warnings from government officials, LSU faculty, and their worried parents, students jumped into their vehicles for an action packed, hydroplane filled adventure to Tigerland. 
Throughout the night, traffic remained mostly steady with only sparse moments of congestion thanks to vehicular and pedestrian traffic. One of the most dangerous moments of the night for many students was the walk from the Fred’s parking lot south towards Mike’s. The road was covered in what seemed to be a thick sheet of ice that only became more slippery as the night went on. Many students attempted to cross the road in vain, only experiencing the despair of embarrassment and a cold butt. 
This reporter was not able to enter the bar as I feared for both my safety and my camera. However, we speculate that the usual grinding, humping, and tweaking occurred inside while numerous intoxicating liquors were consumed. Once the night ended for the tired, smelly students, they were left to tackle another task: getting home. For some, rides were waiting conveniently outside. Some decided to drive drunk*. Some, however, decided it was best to walk home. We could only stare out into the darkness as student after drunken student walked out into the cold night; nary a McDonalds or a gas station open to rest their weary souls. 
What lessons have we learned from this past week of crazy winter weather? Well, for one, Louisiana is simply not prepared for any sort of sleet or snow. Entire businesses shut down and the city with them. Police officers were not present at any point during the two hours we were reporting from Tigerland, which was both funny and scary at the same time. It seemed that even our government and university simply could not handle this bout of freezing weather. If President Obama has a weather control machine at his disposal and wishes to invade and conquer the State of Louisiana (hey, it could happen; we have oil), he simply has to make it snow. Tiny little snowflakes are a Louisianian’s worst enemy. 
*While this article was indeed humorous in tone, this was actually one of the scariest realizations as, around 1:45 AM, multitudes of students directly exited the bars and got into their vehicles. Many students hydroplaned across the road filled with parked cars and pedestrians, and this reporter was nearly sideswiped from the sidewalk. Now that’s a tongue twister.