From a young age, men are taught a common phrase: boys don’t cry.
Men are usually the ones who keep all their emotions bottled up. Rather than being able to express sadness or other strong emotions, they’re forced to be strong and put on a front.
Regardless of the circumstances, men should be open to express themselves and their emotions without judgment.
I recently lost my grandmother in January and have never felt such a loss. I come from a big family, with many cousins and relatives. I was an emotional wreck, and so were many of my close relatives. But what affected me most was the lack of emotion my father and brother showed. Not only them, but my older male cousins and uncles were also very calm and collected.
This loss was an emotional rollercoaster for us all, so I was surprised to see how calmly they were all taking it. It almost made me feel more sadness toward them for not expressing themselves. I understand everyone grieves at their own pace, but all the men in my family portrayed themselves as if we hadn’t lost someone.
On another note, we had the whole Chris Rock/Will Smith incident happen at the Oscars this year (yes, we are all still talking about it). You also have Johnny Depp undergoing a trial with his ex, Amber Heard, regarding domestic abuse allegations. Everyone weighs in on who’s right and who’s wrong, but there isn’t much coverage as to understanding the emotions and feelings of these men. In no way am I agreeing with or defending anyone, but we can all agree there is a lack of identifying what these men are feeling.
First, Will Smith probably was triggered to have slapped someone publicly. There is just so much someone can take until they snap.
No, it was not the right place or time to do so, but we must also recognize any pain or emotional state Smith felt at this moment. The real issue is all this built-up emotion he must have felt at this moment to get up in front of everyone and snap.
We expect men to maintain this strong persona as if they aren’t human. Regardless of who you are or if you agree with what Smith did, he should have been able to open up about his emotions and feelings long before this incident. There are certain things one should be cautious saying out loud, joke or not.
Again, I am not justifying any actions or taking sides, but as a new generation comes through, there should be more open spaces for everyone to express themselves. Gender roles should not be assumed and control emotions.
I hope we move forward for everyone, especially men scared of what people think of them. We should also be more aware of what we say and the repercussions of what comes with it; there is always a place and time to say things.